The "Castle"

I remember when I started to transition into the feminine gender in public, one of the biggest misconceptions I had to change was the Ladies Room. I did know from my days as a restaurant manager the "room" wasn't the "castle" most men thought it to be.To be blunt about it, I encountered too many bloody messes when women couldn't be bothered to dispose of sanitary products properly.  Also over the years, I overheard much more gossip along the way than I ever heard in a men's room.

Slowly and sometimes painfully, I learned I wasn't always welcome in the "room" too. In one case I was screamed at and called a perve and even had the cops called on me in another. Fortunately, that was years ago and now I don't experience many problems (at all) and have really enjoyed the increase in gender neutral bathrooms. I think even though it has been over seven years since I have had a real issue, it only takes one person to trigger another problem. 

For another take on rest rooms and my Mardi Gras restroom post, here's Connie:

Woman's Room

"Been there - on the stinky restroom dilemma. One can't help but be a little embarrassed, and it's not like you can try to explain to the next person in line that it wasn't you.

It's been so many years since I've used a men's room that I am almost unable, anymore, to remember the difference (other than the urinals). I can say, though, that I was surprised to learn that the sounds and odors in the ladies room were worse than what went on in the men's rooms I had used for most of my life. Maybe it's because the ladies room is a refuge, where a lady can finally relax from all of the expectations that come with being one by the outside world. What goes on in the stall may not stay in the stall, but it still stays inside the ladies room - one hopes.

Considering what goes on during Fat Tuesday, it might be a good idea to avoid ladies rooms for a couple of days, anyway. I know that the traditional Cajun cuisine does a number on my system) :-)"

So true!

Off to See the Wizard

It's travel day with Liz today and a cold one at that. Wind chill temperatures are expected to "hover" around 20 degrees (F) today. So Spring has not sprung yet.

Today, I am going with Liz to her Doctor's appointment, to her office to pick up a piece for her computer (she works from home) and go to the drugstore to pick up her new prescription.

Unfortunately, we are not down in New Orleans for the annual Mardi Gras celebration. We were able to go several years ago.

As you can imagine, it was quite the experience. I remember quite clearly the transgender PTSD I still experienced when I went. Needless to say, that was a wasted emotion. No one remotely cared. The most embarrassing moment came as I was coming out of a women's restroom in a restaurant we stopped to eat at. The person who used it before me (to put it lightly) made it smell very foul. Unfortunately, the space was very small and it retained the odor quite well. I attended to business in a hurry and opened the door to a line of women waiting to use it. Needless to say, the first couple of women in line were not entranced with me and probably unfairly blamed me for the smell.

Looking back on the whole trip, restrooms seem to dominate. I also remember quite clearly having to stop at a road side bathroom stop on the Alabama-Mississippi border. Two women read me as I was leaving and I spent the next half hour on the tour bus wondering if a cop was going to pull us over. Nothing happened.

None of that takes away though from the wonderful party atmosphere of the whole event! I had been to New Orleans before (not on Mardi Gras) and my second trip did not disappoint either.

The Salvation?

I received this comment here in Cyrsti's Condo from Paula Goodwin from "across the pond" in Great Britain:

"I fear that many trans people expect transitioning to solve all of their problems, but it won't, only the gender one!"

I especially think this is relevant to those who go all the way and have gender realignment surgery. I have known some people in my past who ended up being very bitter and disappointed people. Seemingly, they would have been better off pursuing their part time feminine life than living 24/7 as a woman. 

If you remember too, "back in the day" the approved way of approaching being transgender or transsexual was having the operation and disappearing into the woodwork, or becoming the neighbor lady next door. All of a sudden, the round peg was still being pounded into a square hole with little positive result. 

These days, we have more options of course. We are coming to realize the gender fluid spectrum is becoming a real thing. Also, after excessive repetition,the public is slowly coming to realize gender is between the ears and sexuality is between the legs. Plus, there is no such thing as being more transgender than someone else just because of operations. Outwardly, you can appear in the public's eye as little or as as much as you want, even though your mind tells you you're feminine almost all of the time. 

As a sidelight, Stana of Femulate blog fame has a similar personal take on her blog today.

So, society is changing and the person who regularly crosses the gender line at our cross dresser - transgender support group meeting is becoming more in vogue. He/she admittedly is gender fluid and sometimes she comes to the meeting as her male self and sometimes as her feminine side. How great is that?