The Morning After

Perhaps you caught the Cyrsti's Condo post concerning the New Years Day phone conversation with Connie. Perhaps you didn't catch her return comments. Including the question about what I was wearing: 

Connie Malone

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 2, 2019 at 1:25 PM

"I was joking, of course, when I asked what you were wearing. Hell, I told you that I had awakened on the chair I had plopped into when I got home the night before - still all swanked out from New Year's Eve. Although I did change clothes in order to make a quick grocery run for eggs and milk, I never completely removed the makeup I had applied for the big night (I did have to "rearrange" it, though, as I looked like a raccoon). Actually, since I had gone for the glam look in the first place, what was left after the morning cleanup was about what I normally wear. Anyway, there was a time, many years ago, when I would have had to put on the glam look just to go to the grocery store.

There are two major trans groups here; one for cross dressers that is mainly social, and another that is more for support. My understanding is that the two groups were, years ago, in alliance much more than they have been for the years since I came out. Having attended various meetings and functions put on by both groups, I have seen the general differences: cross dressers dressed to the nines, while those in transition wear the basic jeans and T-shirt. Neither group understands why the other present themselves the way they do. What I find interesting is that I hear the same question from both sides: What are they trying to prove? What makes it funny to me is that, while both sides ask the question, neither believes that they, themselves, are out to prove anything. From my point of view, they are, however.

Both sides are saying, "Look at me," in their respective presentations. While one is seeking acceptance for the ability to outwardly feminize, the other is wanting to be recognized for the ability to be feminine without the frills. I may be generalizing here, but there are extremes that people hold to; whether it be trans issues, politics, sports, or anything else.

So, I started the new year with a left-over modified glam look, jeans and a purple sweater (The U-Dub's color). I doubt that I impressed anyone at the grocery store with the way I looked, and my sweater had no influence on the outcome of the Rose Bowl. But, I wasn't trying to prove anything, anyway."

As you can see, Connie was kind enough to add a picture I could use so you could see where all the thoughtful comments come from. 

A New Year and a New You?

As the reality of a new year settles in, it's time to step back and take a look at steps forward and steps back we have taken in 2018.

One of the nice things I get out of the cross dresser - transgender support group meetings I go to is seeing the members who are just starting out. It takes me back to the days when I was doing the exact same thing. Sometimes though, I marvel at how some of them want to go too fast.

For me at least, learning the ropes of being feminine was very difficult and I am sure some say, I still have a ways to go. I am fairly sure I will always carry a bit of living for 60 years primarily as a guy will linger with me. Perhaps it's a good thing, if I can still appreciate evenings such as New Years Eve as much as I did.

If I could go back to the beginning, I would tell myself to relax and enjoy the journey.

By now, you maybe asking what does that have to do with the New Year?  For me, everything. I look forward to meeting my 70th year head on with a new renewal. I plan on renewing my spirituality, becoming a better person and enjoying the smaller things in life.

To a lesser degree, I plan on taking another look at my wardrobe and refining it to the best of my ability in the coming year. Plus, like so many others, I need to watch my weight (not go up) after the holidays. If you are thinking about your wardrobe too, here is a helpful link you can go to from the Fabulous After 40 blog about age appropriate dressing.

So, the more I think about it, the more the upcoming year is shaping up to be a self improvement year!

Fashion Plate?

Way back in the day, even before I started HRT, I had a couple of serious relationships to consider. As I thought them through though, I had to consider how the other person would accept me out of cross dressing mode. Remember, I was still wearing wigs back then and still had no hair removal on my face. (Still don't.)  I finally had the courage to choose one of the two possibilities and let the chips fall where they may.

What happened was, of course, is I went with Liz and so far have lived happily ever after. As far as my physical presence is concerned, estrodial/estrogen and spiro lowering my testosterone have helped to feminize  my appearance. Probably the biggest thing was being able to wear my own hair.

Yesterday, I called Connie before the Rose Bowl football game, since the "combatants" were in our backyards (so to speak)...The Ohio State University and Washington. During the conversation, Connie asked if I was decked out in fan wear and/or what was I wearing. Good point!

When I crossed over the gender frontier in my Mtf gender transition, slowly but surely I needed to make decisions on what kind of a woman I was to become. Was I going to be a blend of what I saw in everyday women around me, or a cross dressers dream fashion plate.

Let's say yesterday and most days, my fashion plate is very empty and I hang out in sweats, if I am not going to see anyone. If I am going out, I can dress in anything from jeans to a glittery red holiday top. As I see it, it's one benefit of being a woman. It's also the benefit from being comfortable and I have nothing to prove with Liz who has seen me all ways possible.

One of these nights, when I go to one of the cross dressers - transgender support meetings, I think I am going to wear my old jeans and sweater. Just because I can and I want to hear them gossip about me.

But then again, I probably won't. Like any other woman, I have an image to uphold...in public.