Another Look.

Perhaps you may have missed it but along the way here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have been discussing the TLC, television show "Lost in Transition." Also, you may remember, one of the couples live in Washington State and went on their anniversary to Seattle, where blog regular Connie lives. During the episode the transgender woman was made fun of and mis-gendered in a nail salon.  It turns out, Connie specifically knows the area and even the salon:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJune 15, 2018 at 2:37 PM

"OK, I finally recorded and watched the third episode - the one you are referring to here. I was really only curious about the couple from my neck of the woods, only to find them visiting the very place that I work five days a week! If you watch them walking around the Seattle waterfront, and down the pier, you can see some of the beautiful hanging flower baskets that I tend to. Had they filmed earlier in the day, I may have been on the show, as well!

I found it of interest that they visited that particular nail salon, as I walk by it a couple of times a day. I have been on the search for a new salon since my old manicurist retired last year, and I was considering trying this salon. Was it a coincidence that I was never getting a good vibe looking into the windows as I walked by? After seeing this episode, I guess I was right in not going in. Being outed by another customer is one thing, but I hate doing business with someone who misgenders me. To be fair, though, I think that the giggles were dubbed in, and did not come from anyone in the salon.

The cynical side of me (OK, the largest part of me) was disturbed by everyone in this show - the transgender women, their spouses, and the rather judgmental looks by the others who had just been informed of the transitions. As I have learned the value of "practice, practice, practice" from athletics and music, I don't understand how one can just decide to do, or be, something, and then expect others to be accepting. Of course, my perfectionist personality was responsible for about fifteen years of delay in my own transition. There may be as many right ways to transition as there are those transitioning, but there are plenty of wrong ways to do it, as well. I think that all of the people in this show would do well to read your blog before going any further. But, then, this show was filmed last year, so that advice is probably too late."

I agree with you on almost all you wrote. In all fairness to the producers of this show, they may have found they had waded into a subject with an immense expanse of material. Plus they are saddled with having to make ratings.

Again and again I would warn anyone about just deciding to announce they are transitioning without doing quite a bit of in depth research. Which, for the most part, does not include watching a television show on the subject.

Thanks for the comment and reference to the blog! 

Dammit!

As my hair appointment grows ever closer and the hotter it gets around here, the more I am thinking about asking my stylist to thin out my hair a little more than I originally thought.

I still know I want her to trim my bangs, so they are actually functional. You can see in this picture from the Cincinnati VA LGBT Pride day, what I mean about my hair and no bangs.  As far as the color goes, Liz is going to help me color it before I go for my appointment.





Coming up on the Pre- Fourth of July weekend,  two parties are coming up we have been invited to, so I definitely want to look my best. My "Stars and Stripes top arrived and it fits, so I know what I have to wear. I haven't seen these friends for awhile, so I think my look may work well! At the least, I can give it my best shot and maybe even get my nails done too.

Why Me?

During my walk this morning, I happened to encounter one of the neighbor's older daughters as she was leaving the house.

Per norm, she barely looks at me,which is fine too. She fits the norm child in the neighborhood. Blond, slim and pretty.

For a second I flashed back to my teen aged days (a large flash :) and wondered what my life would have been like if I had been able to live the way I wanted. I graduated high school in 1967, in the middle of the Vietnam War and I have written many times here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning the amount of angst I lived through about being drafted. I didn't have wealthy parents or bone spurs to keep me out of the draft but I did have the where with all to go to college and earn a four year deferment. None of which really helped me with my gender dysphoria.

Four years later, my deferment ended and I was drafted.  I figured my little stash of female clothes wouldn't be accepted during basic training at Ft. Knox, so I purged before I went. Again I was getting farther and farther removed from my dreams of ever living like a girl. I persisted though and the world began to slowly catch up to me.

I learned there were others who yearned to live like me and even stumbled upon a new term...transgender. Slowly and all too surely, I finally came to the conclusion I was indeed transgender.

Now at least, I could achieve my goal of living my life out as a woman. I learned the hard way again what it truly meant to cross the gender frontier.

It's still tough to do but when I see another woman, I can think I finally made it.