We Got Mail

We received several great comments on the Cyrsti's Condo post "He Protests too Much" here they are:

1. "FABULOUSCONNIEDEEDecember 13, 2017 at 11:55 AM

   Yeah, I like girls.....and football too! So what? Lots of women, trans and cis do, as well. How old is this guy, and how long has he been cross dressing? I spent most of my life questioning my gender identity, not coming to such conclusions as that. Obviously, though, he picked the wrong crowd to make that proclamation.
   
   When I came out to my family, my then 15-year-old grandson had two concerns: Would I leave his grandmother, and did I still like football. No, and yes were my answers, and everything was cool. I hope this cross dresser can open his mind as much as a 15-year-old.
2. 
   Paula GoodwinDecember 13, 2017 at 1:59 PM

   I am so tempted to repeat my favorite joke, you know the one, "What's the difference between a crossdresser and a trans sexual?" ~ "about three years" (actually that's a lie, my favorite joke is "A white horse walks into a bar and orders a beer, while he's pouring it the bar man says ~ "We've got a whisky named after you!" and the horse answers "What!? Nigel?"
   
   Anyway I digress the thing about trans people is that we reflect all of society, we are Black, White, and every other available colour; we are straight, gay, bi, pan, or asexual; we are liberal and conservative; we are fat and thin; male, female, or non binary; basically we are just the same as everybody else ~ and of course that means that some of us are liars, cheats, sexual predators, and of course some of us are simply stupid!"
3.   I think too, because some of us do like football or rugby and used to play them, we intimidate some men. After all,what actual domains do men have left? 
4. Plus, if some cross dressers find trans girls attractive, it brings up delicate serious insecurities. The guy at the meeting perhaps was dealing with one of those.  He is in his 40'sand has been cross dressing since his teens, but has never "gone all the way." He is into fetishes such as satin and corsets.
5. Thanks for the comments!

Me Thinks He Protests too Much!

At our transgender support group meeting last night, I heard a self professed cross dresser say emphatically he couldn't be transgender because he likes women. The whole outburst was a little unnerving to me because he looked straight (no pun intended) at me when he said it.

I simply said, don't tell my cis-woman partner of five plus years I can't like women because I'm trans.

From there, and I am not sure he listened, other's in the room tried to explain the difference between gender (between the ears) and sexuality (between the legs).

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at his lack of understanding and hopefully a few more statements such as that will help him to understand. Plus, it just so happens, I know at least a couple more of the participants are married to, or live with cis women and a couple more participants are bi-sexual.

A learning experience for him to be sure. I hope a positive one.

Perhaps too, if you have heard the old saying "if a person protests too much they may have a skeleton or two dancing in their closet." He may be experiencing a fantasy or two keeping his skeletons dancing.

How Did I Get Here?

I used to write anti stealth posts here in Cyrsti's Condo about transgender women transitioning and then going stealth, to be never heard from again.

Many years later, I find myself in the same spot.

It has occurred to me I am the trans stealth person now for a couple of reasons. The first being, I really don't care what the public thinks of me and if the truth be known, most need to see and/or interact with a transgender person anyhow.

The second reason being is I think I am better in living a feminine lifestyle. Or, at the least I am used to it, through more error than trial over the years. I have settled in to the person I thought I could become and blend with other cis-women in the world.

In other words, going stealth was a natural turn of events. After all, I went through all the trouble of having my legal gender markers changed to female.

I used to see "landmarks" in my MtF gender transition.  Now all I see is life. So I guess, stealth is good after all. Looking back, I am pretty sure I know how I got here, now I sure as hell don't ever want to leave.