Such A Week!

Last week, we scorched Cyrsti's Condo with a discussion which basically revolved around passing privilege, or the lack there of.

Past all of that were the meetings I went to.  At which I tend to lose all sense of gender objectivity. What I mean is, none of the people who accept the real me, never knew the old me. At this point of my life, it's hard somehow to accept it still. Perhaps it always will be.

On another subject totally, I am warming (again) to doing another presentation in the Spring at the annual Trans Ohio Symposium. I am thinking of a subject such as "Lesson's Learned from Fifty Years in the Closet." My problem continues to be over thinking the project to the point of wondering, "Who gives a damn?" At any rate, I have plenty of time to over think it!

Also, as fall sets in, I am thinking of getting started (seriously) on my second book, which is partially written already. I am so scatter brained, it will be tough not to start on book three at the same time. We will see how much self control I have.

Fall to me has always represented the ultimate transition season. I always wondered as the trees changed and lost their leaves, when if ever I could ever admit I was transgender and begin the ultimate Mtf gender transition.

So, I have a lot to think about, which fits me fine!

24/7 and More!

I am sure,  little did Stana know over at Femulate, (or maybe she did) the ripple effect her blog post concerning transgender women being mocked for their appearance would have. Even on other blogs such as Cyrsti's Condo.

You may recall, I added my two cents  basically agreeing with both sides without pointing out key issues such as how often you seek to present and blend as a woman in the public's eye. To put it mildly, it is a daunting task when you shrink your closet from two genders to one. All of a sudden you may not have that hour to cross dress yourself and finances maybe more tight than ever. Makeup becomes more precious as the usage of it becomes more important.

Of course, in the transgender sorority, "passing privilege" becomes a factor too. As we all know, as humans, we all were dealt different hands in the appearance department. Precious few men can Mtf transition effortlessly, no matter how much weight they lose.

Another view was sent along by Sally Bend: "I like Stana, and I usually enjoy her blog, but that post really rubbed me the wrong way - so much so that I find myself reluctant to read her again.

To suggest that ridicule and violence are okay because someone isn't good enough at their makeup skills, or didn't put enough effort into their outfit is ridiculous. More than that, it is dangerous. It hands the close-minded bigots a trans-approved excuse to be as mean and as cruel as they like.

The how or when of your gender presentation/expression does not matter. Crossdresser, genderqueer, non-binary, transsexual, whatever, we all started somewhere, we all learn differently, and we all have different goals in mind. Some of us want to pass and be glamorous, some of us want to slip by unnoticed, and some of just want to be comfortable in our own skin.

And then, to close out her post by telling us not to whine about it when it happens? I am going to echo the sentiments of some of the comments and call that what it is - privileged bullshit.

A little compassion, understanding, sympathy, and support go a hell of a lot farther than mockery and blame. Nobody, especially someone who should be one of us, has the right to tell us we are "not good enough" to be ourselves."

Thanks Sally!

24/7?

This post is a continuation of the post I wrote yesterday concerning Stana's post on Femulate. 

After I finished the post, later in the day, I thought I should have added something about the differences of being part time presenting as a transgender woman, and doing it 24/7 (full time). Obviously, there are huge differences. For example, if we are going out on a special occasion, I try extra hard to look better with my dress, make up, etc.

I still have to go farther than the average cis woman anytime I go out, and for that I will be eternally envious!

For another take on going 24/7, lets hear from Connie:

"The comments over on Stana's blog are quite interesting. Not that they surprise me, but it shows differences in the attitudes between 24/7 trans women and those who express their femininity "part time." Also, that both are reading the same blogs!

Being a "24/7-er," myself, I know that I'm not always going to look my best. If something in life demands that I be there right away, I can't always spend the time to make myself gorgeous before leaving the house. I'm picky about my looks, too!

I laugh at the thought of me, cross dressing years ago in my basement, and dreading what I would do should the house catch on fire. Would I have sought safety only after changing my clothes and washing off the makeup? Now, it's just the opposite, I suppose. Well, except for the fact that I am much more confident in myself these days, so I wouldn't risk my life for the sake of makeup nor for the lack of it. :-)"

Thanks Connie!