End of Year Comments

Thanks again for all of you who make Cyrsti's Condo a regular stopping point!  Lets get to a few comments.

From our "Demarcation" Bra post:

"It's mainly a matter of comfort. Bras are supportive but constricting and once in one's private space at home, comfort rules and off comes the bra. With a sigh of relief. 

That said, if you're going out again later on, a bra will have to be put back on. Going braless will risk men getting fixated on your wobbling mammaries, or another woman's raised eyebrows, unless the wearing of a bra is clearly discretionary, as on a hot beach - or if you actually relish the attention! 

It's also clear that small-breasted women have a lot more latitude to do as they please in this area, compared with women who - naturally or otherwise - are well-endowed. 

Lucy"

For better or for worse, I am still one of the small breasted women! Thanks Lucy :)

And, of course Connie brought her unique perspective to the Condo:

 "Well, my problem is that when my bra comes off, so do my boobs! Of course, as far as my womanhood is concerned, that is neither here nor there.....except that my boobs aren't here unless the bra is there. I don't know about my stars aligning, but I still need a bra to keep my boobs aligned.:-)"

Finally, Michelle: "CHEERS to the New Year to both you and Connie from one that NEEDS to take that dang thing off when I get home...LOL"

Cheers to you too Michelle!!!!!

Demarcation Point?

Is the bra a line between a cross dresser and a transgender woman? Here is Connie's take:  "I've heard it said that the line is separated by the fact that a cross dresser can't wait to get home from work and put a bra on, while the transgender woman can't wait to get home to take hers off. Other than that, cross dressing is "what" one does, while being a transgender woman (or man) is "who" one is. It is the "why" question that forms the thin line. "When" and "where" can also be factors."

I really like the definitions here Connie-thanks! I know it took me years to figure out why I needed to do more than just put the feminine clothes on. I could never figure out why the "thrill" of dressing like a girl had long sense lost it's charm. It became more important to me to be more efficient in the process of being able to do the best I could to present my inner female to the outside world. When the stars began to align, I began to understand I was indeed transgender and not a cross dresser. Which, there is absolutely nothing wrong with. The problems naturally occur when we can not align our inner and exterior genders.

And oh by the way, I can't wait to get my bra off!

It's a Thin Line

Last week during my transgender veteran support group I told a couple of experiences I had during what I called my "formative" years as a cross dresser. By formative I mean I was searching to see if a feminine life for me was all I thought it would/could be.

Every time I describe myself as a "former crossdresser" I look for reactions at the same time.

Why?

I know transgender purists say you are trans or not from basically birth and by all accounts I was. The problems came as I built a rather successful male life, it became harder and harder to give up. Plus, information on transgender people was just not as available (or available at all to us.)

So when I talked about singing karaoke with a very masculine lesbian in her cowboy hat (by her direction) and trying to beat my wife home from work at midnight, you can understand the confused or bemused looks around the table.

I find it amusing too that my therapist doesn't understand my past and present paranoia about using the correct restroom (women's). After all it was me who had the cops called on me three times. I learned quickly the proper rest room etiquette and then some. I always carried some sort of feminine hygiene product just in case a not so slick cis woman tried to trip me up, and I had one.

So, the line was thin between being an accomplished cross dresser and a transgender woman-if you believe there ever was one. I know some of you do and some don't and I know too there are a few cis women (GG's) who keep up with the blog who wonder too about their spouses. Which is another blog post altogether.

Some day we will have to cross that thin line.