As I look back over the years on the blog, it amazes me how much ground we have covered! Even though much of it is so similar.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
"Tis" The Season-Almost
"As I look out the front windows here in Cyrsti's Condo, I see the trees donning their yellows and reds for fall fashion and- of course my mind wanders past fashion toHalloween.
Rightly or wrongly, Halloween has left indelible marks in my noggin. When I was a kid and all the way through college to my Army days, I never dressed as a girl for parties. Not to say I didn't want to desperately, just didn't have the courage to do it (which turned out to be my problem for nearly five decades.)
Once I did begin to celebrate Halloween in all sorts of feminine costumes, quickly I learned two basics. The first was I didn't want to wait a whole year to cross dress again in public. The second was, beware of compliments. It took me years to figure out I wasn't some sort of deity who could "make" a good looking woman and if I was indeed attractive was it because I was a guy cross dressing as a woman?
Looking back, the problem was, these experiences just were opening a gender Pandora's Box. If you take one of the definitions literally, the phrase "to open Pandora's box" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocent, but that turns out to have severely detrimental and far-reaching consequences. How true it was, those early Halloween adventures were detrimental to me because I spent years trying to learn and then conceal being transgender. "Far reaching" speaks for itself.
On the other hand, I was able to have several incredible Halloween experiences. Many of which we will write about in October! And! I would love to write about yours too!"
Still goes!
Rightly or wrongly, Halloween has left indelible marks in my noggin. When I was a kid and all the way through college to my Army days, I never dressed as a girl for parties. Not to say I didn't want to desperately, just didn't have the courage to do it (which turned out to be my problem for nearly five decades.)
Looking back, the problem was, these experiences just were opening a gender Pandora's Box. If you take one of the definitions literally, the phrase "to open Pandora's box" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocent, but that turns out to have severely detrimental and far-reaching consequences. How true it was, those early Halloween adventures were detrimental to me because I spent years trying to learn and then conceal being transgender. "Far reaching" speaks for itself.
On the other hand, I was able to have several incredible Halloween experiences. Many of which we will write about in October! And! I would love to write about yours too!"
Still goes!
Ten or twelve years ago, I was a member of a cross dressing "social club". Most of the members were happy just to cross dress on Thursday nights, but some were contemplating transition or in the early stages of it. It's funny to me that I didn't realize I had already been in transition until after I'd spent some time with this group. I gravitated more toward the "transitioners", even though some of these people seemed to be more unstable than those who were satisfied with occasionally dressing up and going out to show their feminine selves to the world (at least to a bar or restaurant). As I observed the differences between the two "subgroups", I also noticed the differences within the HRT crowd. I theorized that there were those who were fueled by estrogen and others who were fooled by estrogen. I wondered, at that time, which I'd be if I were to begin HRT (a good excuse to procrastinate?). As time went on, though, I came to realize that I wouldn't be fooled by it, as I was confident in my gender identity. Maybe HRT would have been more like a fuel additive than the fuel itself, but there was no doubt in my mind that my motor was running and that I was headed in the right direction already. Whether one adds HRT to their transition or not, then, it's important to remember that your mileage may vary."