ShaZAM!

I guess it my be true, if you wait just a little longer for the VA to grease it's squeaky wheel and approve my name change  will it be worth it? 

Today it did just that and it was. But, it was too cold to do my happy dance naked in the middle of the street.

So now my legal name is legal within the system. Now I have to replace my Goddess Awful Veteran's Administration I.D. card and I am free of my old self.

Wow. Just wow.

It Was Only a Dream

Years ago, I used to wake up broken hearted from a reoccurring dream of being a girl. 

Then, as I began to advance through life and became more knowledgeable in the look or looks I was trying to achieve-and the more I began to go out- my dreams followed the process.

In my dreams, I was the prettiest or at the least most convincing girl in the room. Reality to say the least wasn't pleasant. So, in it's place-day dreaming took over. 

I have always wondered how much of my life I essentially wasted in the day dream mode. How would have things been different? Who knows, can't cry over spilled hormones and I am not.

These days, interesting enough though, my dreams are going a different direction. Or not. 

I'm dreaming about coming out as transgender to people. Or appearing to get my gender marker's changed-or whatever.

I guess dreams do follow reality.

Except, I think I would look good in that brand new Porsche of my dreams!

Fright or Flight?

The last couple of days I have had a couple of those moments when I wasn't totally sure which I was going to do. Stay scared or get out of the situation I was in. 

The first was the actual picture taking of the families before the Bar Mitzfah- with focus on the extended families of my grandson as well as him. I just don't like pictures to start with...so I hitched up my big girl panties and got over it.

The second time was today when (for the first time in my life) I went to a fitness club with Liz.  So, I basically went sans most makeup in sweats. (Proud owner of my new ID.) Needless to say, I was at my best but again hitched up my panties and began on my fitness goals. Why?

I need to see if I can exercise my way out of my bad hip's influence. Burn a few extra calories and become more agile before I begin my plan to start yoga. In my quest to live longer and get this transgender trip I'm on as far as I can possibly can.

Even though "fright or flight" seemingly at times is as much a part of my journey as the night years ago when I sat in my car seemingly forever gathering courage for the first time ever to go into a restaurant by myself to eat as a woman. Why would I possibly stop now>