A "Coincidence? 'Me' thinks Not!

Of course those of us living in the "modern world" on the grid these days probably don't want to really know how many times our names are sold to whomever for what reason.

Changing your life as dramatically as one does when gender markers are concerned can provide a whole new look into how the legal "grid" works - good or bad.

This insight comes from Connie:

" Its been less than a month since I got my license "corrected", and just yesterday I received a home refinance offer that was addressed to my new name and started with "Dear Ms ___". The offer had all of the information that is specific to my house and current mortgage, but I have, if by magic, become the owner in my new name.

I have not yet contacted my mortgage company, the IRS, or Social Security to officially change my name and gender, but the changes have obviously been made somewhere that would allow a mortgage company to access the information, as it is public record. I guess that I've opened the proverbial can of worms, though. I am no longer anonymous! By the way, I just today received the first real paycheck made out to me with my new name. I plan on opening up a brand new bank account in which to deposit it. Anyway, we deserve to have these happy surprises after all of the years of uncertainty - which often led to unhappy surprises (if not merely the worry of them happening)."

At this point my Mom's words echo in my noggin "you made your bed, now lie in it."

Are Women Better Actors?

Yesterday at my therapist appointment (which has gone completely past the core reasons I originally went) we wondered into the world of women at large and my perceptions as a transgender woman.

I told her, and you Cyrsti's Condo readers will remember, I was fortunate to have worked for 30 plus years in restaurant business as a manager. During that time, it wasn't uncommon for me to try to manage approx fifty female servers. Also (of course) I worked with other women managers too. 

I learned up close and personal that women form cliques and men form teams and you always had to be on the outlook for the knife to the back from a woman. Women are vicious, men are brutal.

Knowledge that has served me well all the way through my transition. Let's take the Dayton, Ohio VA Medical Center for example. Yes, the same Dayton, Ohio Stana from Femulate who comes West to our 'neck of the woods' once a year on business comes to. In fact the hospital/complex isn't that far from the airport.

Stana has never flown there before as a woman and I hope her experiences are as good as mine at the VA.

"Kudos" to them yesterday! I think at least 90% of the women I came across in the hallways or was treated by in the clinics were sooooooo nice. Especially the one who tap danced her way around the wrong pronouns with me by even using "this veteran" at one point.

Even though as you all know, I have been doing this public trans woman thing for quite awhile, sometimes it is still very difficult for me to make eye contact with another woman every time I should - I nearly never do it with a man.

So yes, we women are better actresses and we transgender women have to be even better. After all, the world is a stage and we need to be comfortable in it to survive.

Plus I almost think we trans girls are getting to the place cross dressers have been for years. We are OK-if we aren't someone's brother or husband.

As The Bureaucracy Turns

As you may recall, today marked yet another of the latest milestone days of my 'Mtf gender marker" journey.

I was happy to see the State of Ohio sent me the approval to switch my driver's license from a 'M' to a 'F' (for a fee of course) and I plan on getting it done early next week. But, As I checked with my therapist at the Veteran's Administration today-I was still a "female called a male name." Ala Johnny Cash's 'A Boy Named Sue.' I sort of figured the VA would take a little more time to untangle itself and get the proper changes done. The privacy officer said something to the point of my name change had to go through some sort of committee to be signed off to prove I am not some sort of terrorist. I could change my gender easily enough but not my name-go figure.

However, the biggest surprise today though came in my mailbox.  I got my paperwork to turn in with my IRS Taxes saying indeed I did have coverage through the VA. It was addressed to "Ms. (insert male name) Hart"

With any luck though, I should have a brand new shiny female drivers license by next week!

And I am excited!!!!