So Close and Yet So Far

I know you have read me write here in Cyrsti's Condo about how amazed I continue to be about those of us in the trans or cross dressing community share a commonality about life.  From Pat's examples of "spreading" the word in gay venues about her to Connie and I playing football in our youth (different teams) to cover our "girl-ness" -literally tons of stories are the same.  Now, I have another which goes back to Marcia and Angel (left) of the blog "A Cross Dressers Wife." 

It turns out Angel is a trans vet and Marcia is a vet (USN) too.  Of course most of you probably know by now and I am trans vet but maybe what you don't know is my first wife is a vet too.  We still get along and was actually one of the first people I came out to as a "transvestite" in Germany where we serving in 1974.  It's a small world.  Marcia finished her post with these words:

"My hope is with this new-found openness in our country, we are becoming more united as a country that embraces our differences, inspires our characters and promotes our people to new levels of understanding and tolerance where we truly know the extent of what it means to be free.   And Freedom isn't free.

Hey Cyrsti, Let's start a role call of our military trans* that will be counted."

Angel Harding - USCG
Maria Harding - USN (Wife)"

No freedom is not free, and it's tragic the transgender military members fighting on the front lines for freedom- are the first in line to be denied it!!!!

Going Back to My Roots

Before I get too far into this post, no I am not talking about my hair roots! I'm writing about my very dark years in the cross dressing closet and realizations how the past has effected my present.  First of all, I'm always surprised when peeps think I have magically arrived at this point in my life without a tremendous amount of stress and tension. Very simply, I almost didn't live through it. Connie said it best- we are survivors.  In most all transgender cases (to quote a movie line and twist it) "it's not the years-it's the mileage too."

Recently, I have been revisiting my past by reliving it through others.  On one side, there is Gena I'm chatting with.  She is in her 60's deeply closeted except for a semi understanding spouse and beginning to think she is trans. Then there is Maria with her Cross Dresser's Wife blog. And, finally last night there was Kadijah who by accident ended up sitting beside me at a Creative Society of Cincinnati meeting. 

All of these dots connect. All take me back to my roots.  Gena is self explanatory.  We share the same age and probably if not for certain extenuating circumstances she could be in a similar situation as I am. Maria on the other hand most likely shares much of the same problems/opportunities which my wives have had from loving a cross dresser or transgender woman. (And more I will mention in another post.) And then there is Kadijah who was a "civilian" until last night.  At these meetings, Liz primarily networks her beadwork, knitting etc. and I use them to "hawk" my book Stilettos on Thin Ice.  Of course, as I do, I automatically out myself as I did with her when she asked what my book is all about.  Anymore my simple answer is my sometimes painful story of living a lie as a cross dresser until I came out and transitioned as transgender.  It turned out Kadijah was a 30 something very talented artist from here in Cincinnati and we ended up having a fascinating conversation which went way past being trans.

Never a dull moment! Thank goodness!

It's Not All About Me

Yesterday, I was making my way through the grocery store on a decidedly snowy winter day, I was immersed in buying only a few items to get us by at  the house.  As I was stopped at the salad department finally fighting off the cold in my long wool coat, I heard this voice behind me say "can I help you sir?"

I briefly thought "Really??" until I turned around and saw the real sir the produce clerk was talking to-not me.  So I guess it's true, it's not all about me.

Lewis Carroll said it best.