Cyrsti's Condo "Gender Blender"

Meet Kyle Farmery described as a New York City night life "princess."

Activism versus Advocacy?

Recently, I have written seemingly tons of posts here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning the Leelah Alcorn tragedy and it's aftermath.  And- I have received tons of response too.  The difference for me now is, I am receiving input not only through the blog but also through places such as Facebook,  Google+ and through personal interaction.  Even my personal interaction is different because of all the different groups I'm interacting with. For the most part, no one I have run into has ever encountered another transgender person.

On Google+, Jenny sent me a great comment questioning (among other things) the true reasons certain individuals or groups of peeps are now jumping on the transgender "band wagon." Specifically she used my example of the mayor of Dayton, Ohio speaking at the recent Leelah Alcorn vigil. Why and were there hidden political reasons? I believe she did feel terrible about the tragedy but yes it is true - Dayton has an ever growing strong LGBT presence. I'm sure an "advisor" was speaking to her political need to be there.

Certainly, I can't speak to the longevity of any political support-except to say- both mayoral candidates in Dayton supported LGBT groups.  To the most jaded of you all (included me) I say-follow the money!  While so many of the well heeled bible thumpers have concentrated on building castles, LGB groups have been building communities. All of the sudden, we "T"s are becoming visible.  Tragically, Leelah never realized how close she was.

Also, around central and southwestern Ohio at least, all any city of any size only has to look at the example of the very diverse LGBT society in Columbus, Ohio as a model of economic success.  A subject for another post!

So, I think when considering the longevity of any transgender acceptance movement, you have to "follow the money." In my geographic area (which is considered far less than liberal except for Columbus) the more trans women and transgender men who are able to establish themselves in jobs, the more advocates we will have and the fewer activists we will need.

OMG!!! Am I Turning into My Mother?

One of the most common terms I hear from generics my age or less is "I am turning into my mother!" I assume they are telling the truth because I never met their Moms and the whole idea is bad.  On the other hand, I have met mine and yes, there are more than a few interesting comparisons.

First of all,  some of us resemble our Mom's.  In my family, it was clear from the beginning-my brother resembled my Dad while I resembled Mom. I know that alone does not make the person transgender. Most of us go on to grow and be masculinized -a "male" version of her.  Early pictures of her Dad made it clear where my genetics came from.

I'm sure generics feel the same way when they look in the mirror and I know they do when they act a certain way and  I'm beginning to feel the same.  All of a sudden, I am seeing all sorts of prime examples of how I am rapidly "syncing" up my personality with hers- and not in a good way.

She was the woman who would kick the drivers door in a cross walk on a car that cut through against the traffic light.  She was the 70 year old who would accelerate her Buick up a hill to cut off another driver driving trying to take her lane. Perhaps, most important of all, was her life long willingness to say pretty much what she wanted-when she wanted to say it. My Dad was decidedly more laid back.

I have accepted I resemble her and I have a real tendency to act like her.  My problem is in the series of "switches" I have had to gone through to accommodate myself.  As I made it through life, I could very much "bluff" my way through a macho existence and was left to my own "mouth."  Then of course as my "male privlidge" began to fade slowly as I grew older and then departed totally as I entered gender HRT transition- away it went. Not particularly a great time to showcase my sarcastic humor (?) on an unsuspecting public.

So I am stuck with all the genetic switches my Mom passed on and I can see them too in my 30 something daughter.  It's very ironic how much I am turning into my mother-more than she ever would want to know.

One thing is for sure-  She would not have hesitated to tell me her opinion on my transgender status and I wouldn't have hesitated to tell her I didn't care.