Life in the Box

Continuing a post I wrote yesterday here in Cyrsti's Condo which I compared my MtF gender transition to climbing into the "girl's sandbox" .  I break it down further in my book  "Stiletto's on Thin Ice" but for simplicity (like my mind), here are a couple of thoughts.

For the record, I have nursed my biggest scratches over the years, from two groups-"A-list" genetic and TS women.  I leaned quickly from both, who sought me out for my comeuppance (as they say in my part of the world.) My first lesson came years ago at one of the transvestite "mixers" I used to attend.  I was always fascinated by the diversity of the group and loved to go out with a certain few after the "meeting" and party. The problem was, this group made up most attractive cross dressers in the room.(Not the most feminine though.)  They knew it and were very similar to the socialite/cheerleader types I encountered in high school.  To "tag along" was OK by them, as long as we all knew I didn't really belong. Lesson learned.  Maybe I didn't fit it with those girls in the sandbox, but there were others I was finding who indeed I did!

As most cat scratches do, I heeled and found more acceptance in the box than I ever thought possible.As we have discussed here in the "Condo" most genetic women are curious why you would even want to play in the sandbox at all and move on. My problems occurred when I wanted to use the "litter box" and I got scratched big time.  Through it all, I learned to watch my back because there could be a woman coming after me with a patented "passive aggressive" feminine attack.

Finally, I learned the worst attacks in the box came from those I couldn't even see, transsexual and transgender women who sit safe behind their computers and blast away.  I used to get mad (still do) and hurt (still do) but for the most part understand I put myself out here and with it comes abuse.

So now, I happy with my little spot of sand in the girl's sandbox and I have playmates too.  Plus on the positive side, I have interacted with sooooo many good hearted peeps like all of you.

Thanks for playing in our sandbox!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Did You Know?"

Here's a real conversation starter-or finisher. Did you know the Dalai Lama follows no one on Twitter? Not even Lebron James?  Source: Ellen Claycomb, Twitter.
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And You Thought You Had This Girl Thing Down!

Stick with me here as I try to "structure" this post.

I'm going to start it with an experience I had 199 years ago as a kid and build from there.  In my youth, every friggin year, our vacation was a two week trip up to the area around Toronto, Ontario - Canada. Dad would rent out a fishing cabin on a lake called "Rice Lake" and we would do our best to fish it out. We caught the fish, cleaned the fish, froze the fish and ate them every Friday for a year until it was time for...you guessed it...fish for more.

One year when I was probably 12 or so, we found enough kids in the camp to form a tackle, no pads football game.  Being the overly compensating male kid I was, my hero was a fullback for The Ohio State University and I wanted the ball.  I got the ball all right and was picked up and slammed down on my shoulder.  My collar bone was broken and my Dad temporarily lost an employee. Ironically,  what sticks with me to this day is when the doctor said to my Mom, "well the collarbone is broken, but he won't have to worry about wearing a strapless dress anytime soon."  He was right in a way- it was several years before I did go strapless.

Then! I read this from the "Fashionista" beauty blog..."Everything You Need to Know About Collarbone Contouring!" Dammit! You mean I spent all those years contouring my collar bone "bump" wrong?  Where was the internet when I was a kid and needed it?

Then! Bobbie sent me a link on Facebook to a Greenville Gazette article where a Tracy Spicer gave a talk about the pressures society puts on women to look a certain way. She explains that women spend an average of 3,276 hours of their lives grooming. Men spend a third of that primping themselves.

“Imagine what we could achieve if we weren't beholden to society’s unreasonable expectations about how we should look,” Spicer says. In the amount of time it takes every year grooming, women could learn another language or get a degree. The sky is the limit to what women could accomplish with that time.   

DUH!

No big surprise there Tracy! What she didn't say was how much of that pressure comes from within the women's sandbox. Who do women dress for first, men or women? Personally, I feel if I present well and blend with the women I'm around I can move around in the world with less potential problems. In other words, I'm passing the girl's "sandbox test".  It's a tough crowd in "the box" though and I'm sure proper contouring of my collar bone would have given me a bit more respect from the "A" listers - if I had only known!

Thanks Bobbie! Here's my second book plug recently (making me feel like Dr. Phil) but there is quite the discussion of the "girl's sandbox" in one of the chapters of "Stiletto's on Thin Ice."