Does the Dress Really Make the Person?

Received yet another thought provoking comment on the Cyrsti's Condo "Pass the Make Up" post:

"As my guy self everyone I deal with has come to accept me for all components that they see. I am generally friendly, involved, caring and willing to give my honest opinion on any subject. When I do get out and about while dressed I pretty much am the same person. I do not try to fool anyone.

If I am perceived as a large older man in a dress I hope that most people think that I did not do a bad job getting dolled up and that I look decent, friendly, pleasant, involved, friendly and willing to give an honest opinion on any subject. I am the same me. I suppose as I guy I am not distasteful in appearance or presentation. I expect no less of myself when dressed. Pat"

I thought Wow! this was a major discussion point with my wife and I "back in the day".  She was certain I was different as a woman and not necessarily in a flattering way.  Of course, since then a lot of make up has gone under the bridge and I am drastically a different feminine person than I was then. I can tell you now there is only one other person in the world who could speak to how much of me carries into both genders.

Similar to Pat, my inner self has carried through, standards, spirituality etc. On the other hand, the more completely I cross the gender line, it's natural my feminine self does change. You all know how much I push the idea of socialization before surgery here in Cyrsti's Condo. As I pursued in earnest what a life as a woman was really life, I also learned quickly I wasn't out to fool anyone either.  To hell with the old male/female gender binaries.

I'm fairly sure Pat would agree the only big difference we have is experience. But, when it all comes down to it, you can throw out the cross dresser and transgender labels and go with who you are. Good is good...male, female or trans. Gender does not dictate personality. If you were a bastard before SRS, your chances of being a bitch afterwards are good.

So if the dress does make the person, it's because we are all just mirrors anyhow.  It's what behind the mirror that really counts.

Is It Too Late Not Too?

Awww right, I'm almost 64. If you are close to my age, surely you remember these lyrics from the Beatles classic:

When I get older losing my hair, Many years from now, Will you still be sending me a valentine Birthday greetings bottle of wine?

 If I'd been out till quarter to three Would you lock the door, Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I'm sixty-four?

I can almost guarantee you that when I heard the song the first time, I had serious doubts about living until I was 64! Now that I'm almost to 64, I decided to celebrate the upcoming occasion here in the Cyrsti's Condo for once.  Mainly because of these reasons:  One, I don't care if someone knows my age.  Two, I'm still standing unlike many others I used to know ( if I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself) and Three, I perhaps could provide some insight into the process for those who may be considering it.

Feedback has been amazing.  Everything from I was called "just another old guy on hormones" to "like you, I considered transitioning but I'm too old" and there was Shelle.

Although we have never met, Shelle and I have become transgender sisters of sort. It turns out we share several powerful life experiences with this gender trip we are on.

Recently Shelle wrote a great post on her blog called "Why"?  In the post she answers a few of the questions of why she transitioned when she did:

"I am repeatedly ask by people why did you wait so long to transition,I have ask myself the same question a thousand times,I can only guess that like most people like me I thought that if I practiced “immersion therapy” I could cure what seemed to be wrong in my life.I like most trans women of my age group thought that by immersing myself in in the hyper-masculine world I would be somehow magically cured that it would rub off on my psyche and cure the fact that in reality I was a woman,But with little support and few coping skills the whole shared only proved to be a complete failure and things just continually got worse all my life not better or less confusing but more and more the focus of my everyday thoughts.

It wasn't until around 17 years ago when I met my last wife and shared from the beginning who I was with her and she in turn was not only supportive but with her love and everyday help I began to feel emboldened and the fog I lived under began to clear I saw a more clear path to the person I needed to become to finally have some sense of peace in my life and really begin to grow again."

Visit Shelle's blog here and if you haven't guessed, she may remember the song too!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of "da" Day"

No off the wall writer (like me) who penned this quote!

"Write Drunk, Edit Sober"  Ernest Hemingway.

Hmmmnn, very profound, that "Ernie" guy!