Looking Back and Forward

Following the weekend's intense activity, I finally have had an opportunity to reflect on life as I know it now.
Recapping just a bit, Saturday's burial of my outward male and emergence of my female self was intense to say the least. Sunday I sort of curled into a ball, Monday I worked diligently on all the projects I do and last night I went out for a drink to the place where much of my public coming out process happened.
I'm going to stop and quote a loving and giving quote from my Mom now: " Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes". As "non frilly" as that quote may seem-it's true.

Last night, I thought back on all the times I went to this very busy upscale sports bar in various "experimental" outfits and wigs. I've told whomever will listen (and some who won't) I was very much a trial and error transition person. (mostly error) I was fairly certain this feminine direction I was heading was the correct one but I had to find out for sure. One of the those moments occurred where I was last night. Years ago I was sitting there and this incredibly warm sense of well being came over me.  No, it wasn't the beer and I didn't have to run out and buy a store bought vagina- I just knew I found my true self.

At any rate, the last five years have been one hell of a trip. I went back to the dusty archives to pass along an ancient post from Cyrsti's Condo, called Weekend Update.  I was interested to see how completely I was into the psychical aspect of the moment...shaving legs, clothes etc. I won't pretend to say I'm not into the psychical aspect of being a woman now but it ceases to be the all encompassing factor. I guess it's important to me to look as good as I can but it's not the defining factor of my femininity. Again, I have been so lucky to have learned from a close group of genetic female friends currently and in the past on what a woman is and isn't.

As I look forward to the time I have left on this world, I'm incredibly excited what is around the next corner for me on this journey.  I'm never so sure what dose of positive karma brought me to this point. I compare my life as a human and a transgender person to an old school pin ball machine. Don't we all play this game?   Five silver balls and we are done- game over-see ya!  As hard as we try, we try to aim the silver balls and hope for big points. Skill is one thing though but what about luck and destiny? If you know those answers-please can I talk to you!!!!!

So looking forward, I'm hoping to have at least one or two balls left to play...and have as much fun as karma will let me!

I've Been A Girl My Whole Life

This is a portion of a quote I'm passing along called :"Super Progressive Mom Conquers Intimate Apparel" by Laurastina.  The rest of the quote is "and nobody noticed" and came from her transgender daughter.
This is a good read! Go here!

Transgender Music

Ever heard of Angelica Ross? Quite by accident I came across a site called trans-genre which spot lights transgender artists. Here is a part of Angelica's story:

"Angelica’s journey began when she graduated high school at the age of 17, to avoid 1 more year of spiritual torture. Angelica traveled, from Racine to Rochester, NY where she was recruited by the U.S. Navy. They knew this black blonde-haired boy didn’t belong when she showed up to the physical with her toenails painted, but they enrolled her anyway. Angelica spent 6 months in the military stationed in Yokusko, Japan which ended abruptly after she was almost killed by a few of her shipmates who hung her out of a 3rd story window to force her to admit she was gay. That was the catapult that gave Angelica the drive to begin to live her life for herself. When she got back on American soil, she began the transformation process at the age of 19 while living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Angelica then began a long career of modeling & acting under the radar. Her agency had no clue for years, until she confided in a gay booking agent at the agency, who became a friend and ally, in getting Angelica work in music videos, runway, and print & commercial, which took away some of the stress by having someone on the “inside” who knew and was looking out for her. But, Angelica would turn down work, after assessing certain jobs would be too stressful for her if anyone were to find out."

Go here for more!