Playing to Your Strengths

Photo with jeans
skirt and flowing top
from the Jessie Hart
Collection

I am saddened when I read of another novice transgender person and/or cross dresser who feels they are shut out of the feminine world they want to live in because of how they look. Because of testosterone poisoning the person feels as if they are locked in forever to a gender dysphoric life they did or do not want to live. 

In the first place, I wonder if other transgender women (no matter where they fall in their transition cycle) consider all cis women (born female) don't necessarily "pass" as attractive women. Naturally, there are all types, sizes and shapes of women to be seen. One of the several positives which kept me going when I struggled coming out of my closet was the fact, if I could find clothes the size other women wore which fit me, I could wear them too and do my best to look good. During that portion of my life, I made extensive use of bargain thrift stores to augment my feminine wardrobe. If I purchased the wrong item, I wouldn't be out much money and I could try again and again. The main benefit to me was I could learn which women's sizes fit my body style which sadly leaned towards no hips, a wide torso and broad shoulders. I had quite a bit of disguising to do. 

I started the process by deciding to take off un-needed weight. There is a reason so many cis-women are into diets and I decided to diet for the same basic reason, to look better. My metabolism at the time must have been strongly male because with very little effort I lost nearly fifty pounds which helped my clothing search and allowed me to locate strengths to play to as far as presenting myself to the world. One of the strengths I was always told I had were my legs. Once I made it through my teenaged inspired cross dressing years, I often wore jean skirts and lose flowing tops. The outfits allowed me to show off a strength and at the same time camouflage another. It seemed to work for me as I was suddenly able to navigate the world as my authentic self. To add an extra dimension to my public life, I began to take extra better care of my skin. Having a better basic complexion allowed me to use less makeup and again appear more presentable. 

These days looking more presentable as a transgender person is becoming more and more a priority. With the number of restrictions and hate bills on the horizon for transgender women and men, being able to blend in with the everyday public is a must. I am fortunate I live in a relatively upscale and liberal part of a larger metro area which is known to support LGBT causes but just to the East of us the rural area doesn't. In fact, a group I was part of used to run bake sales in front of a certain very well known big box store in the area. I went and helped but felt decidedly out of place. As I looked around at the other women in the store, it wouldn't been to much of a stretch of the imagination to feel as if I was one of the more attractive women in the store. 

If you are in your closet and need to leave, it is easy for me to say you have to hitch up your big girl panties and try your best to do it. Courage breeds confidence and hopefully playing to your strengths helps you to live an authentic life.