It all started with the compliment I didn't know what to do with from my ex wife on Thanksgiving. It continued with Connie thanking me for the compliment I gave her after the picture she sent in. And, I was complimented on my hair today by my therapist.
I am guessing but I think my inability to respond to compliments or give them goes back to my parents. Growing up, I can not remember a time when I received a compliment which wasn't tied to a qualifier. In other words, you (me) did good, but...
I think also, I have a difficult time with feminine based compliments because I think the "qualifier" is still there. An example would be looking good as a woman for a transgender person or a man.
Truthfully though, I am on cloud nine (where ever that is) following all the compliments I have received on my hair. The qualifier this time is being fortunate enough to still have a full head of hair to not have to deal with wigs anymore. Unlike Connie, who looks great, I was usually hit or miss in the wig department. Mostly miss from quite a few fashion mistakes. I have always believed I was really able to navigate the feminine world as a transgender person after I began to grow my own hair.
Plus, I feel as if I am being repaid hair karma from my time in the 70's when I was in the Army and had to have short hair when everyone else I knew had longish hair. Of course I also completely envied the hippie girls with all of their long hair.
If I knew then what I know now, I would have complimented more women on their hair. I have come to the understanding now why so many women rely on their hairdressers for an occasional boost. Figuratively and literally, it makes us feel better about ourselves.
The bad news is now I will have to find a new stylist to do my hair. My current one had to retire due to carpal tunnel hand problems.
I will miss the pampering I received every two months when I went to the salon and all those pesky compliments which came my way.
Life is nothing without change though and finding a new stylist will be exciting in it's own way.
New life based challenges are good too when you are 70 as I am. There is still plenty of time to get better. I hope!