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November 16, 2018
More Gender Dysphoria
Several days ago I wrote a post on Gender Dysphoria here in Cyrsti's Condo. Basically on the debilitating effects it has on many of us. Transgender or gender fluid. As with all of my posts, I value other thoughts. Connie has this one:
November 12, 2018 at 3:44 PM
"I've said it before, and it still holds true, I doubt I will ever live through a day without having some reminder that I am a trans woman. Even if I were to have nothing but positive experiences with the outside world, I will always have some degree of internalized transphobia.
Due to a couple of bad discs in my neck, I have lost the ability to do some things with my hands and arms. I have learned to compensate in order to do many of the ordinary things in my life, but I no longer can do the work that I used to do for financial security, nor can I play the drums at a professional level (something I attribute to having been my saving grace in dealing with my gender dysphoria over most of my years). My atrophied right arm and numb left hand are constant reminders of what I can't do anymore. I try to be positive, concentrating on doing other things that I still can, but it's difficult to maintain when I can't even eat a whole bowl of soup without getting fatigued and having the last spoonfuls drip more down my chin than making it into my mouth. It's not only frustrating, but very unladylike!
I don't think I had any more of a choice to transition as I did to develop my physical problems. Interestingly, they both started at about the same time, and learning to go through my life positively in spite of each of them has been a struggle. Nevertheless, I cannot allow myself to see either as a disability - even if there are others who would.
I think that getting used to whatever limitations we may have is certainly better than living in fear and despair, but we should never settle for giving in to them. I may realize that I can't pass as a woman any better than I can now pass a football, but I also know that I don't have to be defined by those things, either.
We shouldn't put so much pressure on ourselves. Doing so only robs ourselves, and any others who may care, of who we really are. "
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