Presumably, I will go Friday night to one of the cross dresser/transgender social mixers at a nearby restaurant/ bar.
I really don't want to go without Liz, who is saying now she will go. However, a bad workday could derail her enthusiasm. Maybe a Margarita would help? Maybe :).
As I have said before here in Cyrsti's Condo, I'm a little shy in going simply because "back in the day, I saw too many instances of "men in dresses behaving badly." I won't go into too much detail, except to say I was ashamed to be associated with them because of activities in the women's bathroom. Plus, that was in a gay venue and Friday's night out is in a straight venue.
Who knows though, I could have a good time and dodge the one t-Rump supporter who snorts under her breath half the time when something is said and for some reason won't leave me alone. Just lucky I guess, and yes she knows my politics as well as I know hers.
It would be interesting too to see if anyone else brings a real live cis woman with them as a guest. I'm guessing not.
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The transgender/cross dresser group here in Seattle has bylaws that must be agreed to in order to join. The largest section of those bylaws is dedicated to proper ladies room behavior. I can only imagine this to be so because of specific incidents that had occurred over time. The fact that these rules are so specific in regard to "no brainer" behaviors has always been disturbing to me. I also imagine that alcohol was a factor in many of these incidents, but that certainly does not excuse them. Bylaws often don't mean a thing to one who is pumped up with alcohol, however.
The first time I went out with this group (about ten years ago) was also the first time I'd ever gone into any public establishment. My reluctance to use the ladies room for the first time had me reluctant to use it along with anyone else, as well (including, if not especially, anyone in the group I was with). While I was sitting safely in the stall, one of the members bought off a female server to walk into the ladies room and yell out, "Hey, there's a man in the ladies room!" I recognized it immediately as a prank, and I re-entered the main room with my head held high and walked confidently back to the table. Of course, the group was laughing and applauding, but I did not let it phase me. As I took my seat, I said, "I knew that there were no men in the ladies room because none of you were with me there."
Bullying can come from even the most unexpected people. I wrote this off as a sophomoric initiation prank to a "sorority" that I quickly learned I did not want to belong. Not only did I not want to belong, I simply did not belong at all. If nothing else, that experience confirmed what I had begun to understand about myself - that I was not merely a man in a dress.
I could have qualified that last statement with "not that there is anything wrong with that." Sometimes there is something wrong with that, however. Bad behavior has nothing to do with gender identity in any form.
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