Friday, September 6, 2013

Can you Make the Cut?

Recently, I have read a couple comments from transgender women here and there wondering about the decision they made to go through SRS.

Then I learned a few made the genital decision first and then were considering facial feminization surgery and/or breast work. I know it's just me but shouldn't the order of surgeries be reversed or at the least done at the same time, income permitting?

Many of you regulars around here in Cyrsti's Condo by now are thinking OMG, here comes Cyrsti's gender socialization soapbox. You are very perceptive! In this whole deal of what you cut and when it's beyond me when someone empties the savings and heads off to Thailand without socializing themselves in their new gender? Sure we all make mistakes but this possibly could be a huge one! Call me crazy (and many have) but thinking running off and changing your genitals may not be an end all to all your problems.

Here is what I think is happening with some of these SRS peeps.  Perhaps many experienced most of their socialization in gay venues or endless trips to the mall. They missed real world gender experiences in areas such as everyday communication and privilege shifts. Perhaps others (bless their heart) had understanding spouses who absorbed the transition shock.  In turn,  the transgender person was shielded from the reality of being on their own in the world.

I'm the last person to ever be accused of having any common sense but in my own transition,  it occurred to me a fairly gradual transition was not a bad idea.   I always figured if I didn't like the process I would have an escape. As it turned out  I found I loved the transition process for two primary reasons: socialization and appearance.

As far as socialization went,  I jumped into the deep end because I could.  Sure the experience wasn't all sweetness and light but I came through and learned the basic lessons of navigating the world as a transgender woman.   Now in the future if I decide SRS is to be a positive life choice for me, so be it.

Appearance is a bit more tricky. As  I have written,  appearance should not be a primary factor in anyone's transition but it does help.  Hormone femininization has provided positive benefits for me because I was and am only moderately presentable as a trans woman. I need every edge I can get.  HRT gave me edges in skin texture, breast development and hair growth on the noggin.

Of course,  no amount of HRT will ever change my thick torso and big male bones and I have found I am vain enough if I ever had the resources I would consider facial feminization surgery. Let me point out though that no amount of appearance can help who you are inside. You can be the prettiest CD in the room and never be mistaken for a woman- transgender, transsexual or not.

So there you go, I know you agree opinions are similar to that certain part of your body you sit on...everybody has one.  Maybe HRT is making mine bigger?

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