These Days

With all the ultra important happenings going on in the world right now surrounding BLM and Juneteenth, it's increasingly difficult for me to find things to write about. It is just too easy to say I am a privileged white person who grew up in a predominantly rural white school  without even the benefit of history books which conveniently left out most of the black history all together. Tragically, the only racial knowledge I heard came from my Grandma who passed on stories about going to KKK meetings in my hometown in Southern Ohio. Juneteenth, or anything similar had no place in my house. In fact, the only dealings I had with a POC was with one family which went to my small school. This was back in the 50's and early 1960's when things were about to change...somewhat.

Today, I feel guilty when I see all the peaceful demonstrations I can't take part in due to my physical problems walking. I am still too vain to attempt it in a wheelchair.  On the other hand I still have this blog to sound off on my feelings. My fondest hope is the younger generation can be counted on to finally put an end to the systematic racism going on in this country today.

This also extends to the continuing rash of transgender women (mostly of color) being killed. Just recently, a young transgender woman was involved in a robbery and killed here in the Cincinnati, Ohio metro area.  

Any way you look at it, we have a terrific amount of ground to cover in our country when it comes to race relations. In November maybe we can really jump start the process going on now in the streets. 

Finally, a thought about privilege to leave you with:

 

Nip Tuck Returns

The "FX" television network is teaming up with the "Hulu" viewing platform to stream some of their old shows. Included is the "Nip Tuck" show.

If you remember, the show was among the first to feature a transgender woman in a trans role. The transgender woman was/is the beautiful Candis Cayne. (below)

The show aired in 2009. For more, go here.

Pass the Wings Please

Recently, after I passed along the experience between my wife and I when she was approached by a man in a tavern we were in and it was one of the first times I was out with her cross dressed. Connie commented: Better to be a wing-woman for a wife than a competitor. How would she have felt, had the guy decided to sit down next to you and chat you up, instead?  

Since she has passed on, of course I can't ask her and can only speculate but I think she would have reacted  with a mixture of humor and curiosity. Humor because I was so new to any feminine experiences I would have been extremely ill at ease with the experience. Curiosity of course would have followed closely because she would have been closely checking out how I would have handled it. I can only say, it I had handled it smoothly, it would have cost me dearly in our relationship in the near future.  She would have wondered I am sure how I was able to handle it so naturally. It didn't matter because she ended up talking with the guy. 

You Cyrsti's Condo regulars may recall though I had a chance much later in life a couple times to be a wing person for one of my lesbian friends. Even though it was fun and flattering to do, I was never successful. I think deep down inside I knew it would be one of the few times in my life I would able to interact as a wing person for someone else. If by chance you don't know what a wing person does, she (in my case) was asked to approach another person in a bar and tell them my friend was interested in talking to them. 

One way or another, I wasn't successful so I will never really know how the person's I approached truly felt about me. I only know I had come a long way as a transgender woman in the mean time,

Make my wings spicy! 

Victory!

Every so often, there comes a time (or times) when we as a transgender community seem to be taking steps forward. Of course the recent Supreme Court ruling upholding employee protections for trans and gay workers is one of those moments. No matter how brief it is before we face another major ruling, it's good to see one go our way! 

Then, there is the documentary on Netflix called "Disclosure". It is written and produced by leading transgender creatives and thinkers who share heartfelt perspectives and analysis about Hollywood's impact on the trans community. It's directed by transgender filmmaker Sam Feder.

Of course Laverne Cox is involved too.

Lets not forget too the massive black trans lives matter march which recently. This is a view from New York City: Times could be a changing!

Multiple Transitions

As promised, here is the second comment (from Connie) concerning the Cyrsti's Condo post on how I felt when my wife and I were out very early in my transition and she started to talk to another guy:

Better to be a wing-woman for a wife than a competitor. How would she have felt, had the guy decided to sit down next to you and chat you up, instead? There's no doubt that the husband/wife relationship gets turned upside-down and sideways when one of them switches gender.

Years ago, my wife came to a bar where my band was playing (starring "The Fabulous Connie Dee"). After the first set was over, I was going to sit with her, but went to the bar for a drink, first. While waiting at the bar, a guy commenced to hit on me, and, by the time I got rid of him, it was time to go back on stage. A few songs into the next set, the same guy appeared on the dance floor with my wife. I remember the mixed feelings I had, being jealous (as a husband), and helpless (as a woman). I also felt jealous (as a woman), and helpless (as a husband). I really had no reason to be jealous, but I was helpless because I'd given up any rights I had had as a man and husband. It certainly wasn't her choice for me to become her girlfriend.

At that time, we'd reached a point in our changing relationship where my wife was much more aware that my manhood was fading away than I was, myself. She'd already started mourning the loss of her husband, while I was just at a loss of how to be a husband as a woman. I've always felt that it is important to be aware, as part of one's own transition, that it is a catalyst for everyone else involved to go through their own transitions, as well. Because the trans person has, most likely, had years to make the decision to transition, it would be foolish to expect a spouse - or anyone else - to make such an adjustment immediately. In our case, however, my wife's transition had progressed further than my own, at that time.

I'm lucky, if not mystified, that we are still married, just a few days short of forty-eight years. We probably won't be having a big celebration, and I know we won't go out dancing. I'll probably buy her some flowers, but she'll know that I'll be enjoying them just as much as she does; she has for a long time.

Congratulations on your anniversary! The complexity of the gender situation in a transgender person's relationship  is amazing.

A Partner Or?

I received several very good comments on my recent Cyrsti's Condo post concerning the day my wife suddenly had the chance to turn into my competitor when it came to a gender confrontation with another guy. It was turning into an increasingly flirtatious situation. 

The first comment comes from Michelleisback:  " I know that the situation, where one realizes the dynamics of male/female interaction, has both good and bad connotations when it comes to wife and husband relationships. It's a real eye opener when you realize that you are the third party wallflower girlfriend, when watching you spouse interact with a male. It makes one wonder if she sees you as competition or just someone that has no recourse but to just go for the ride along and just sit quietly in the background. i guess all you can hope for is that your relationship with her is strong enough to remind her that you are partners in life."

Thanks for the comment! Unfortunately, I don't think my wife ever got to the point of ever seeing me as anything else but competition. In other words, our relationship as two women was toxic. Even though over the years I changed so much  as I grew into being a transgender woman, I am not so sure we could have ever made it together as a couple. 

In fact, before she passed away I was trying to live as a man the best I could. If I had to guess, I don't think I could have made it much farther the way I was going.

I will post another comment later!

If You Had any Doubt

With the upcoming election, it's getting clearer and clearer the choice we are looking at on the ballot. As the nation continues to be embroiled in well deserved protests and the Covid 19 threatens to overwhelm us again. the administration in Washington continues to take our transgender rights away. If for some reason you are still confused what it means to your present or your future if you decide to live a trans life, it is worth it for you to read up on exactly what is in it.. Among other things, in the future, you could be refused care at a physicians office because you are transgender.

The message is clear folks, Biden is far from the perfect candidate but the current evil idiot is a disaster. Further more, if you tell me you just aren't going to vote, or vote for a third party candidate, you are telling me you are indirectly voting for the evil transphobic idiot who occupies the White House currently.  

Buckle up kids, It's going to be a rough road ahead! 

Water Proof?

It's still Pride Month even though most all events around the Cincinnati Metro area have been postponed. As a matter of fact, the main LGBTQ Pride event here has been rescheduled for October. 

This morning I saw an commercial on television for some sort of a water proof make up product. Then I remembered I thought I had a picture from a Pride "Pub Crawl" Liz and I went on several years ago. Of course, right in the middle of it, a rain began to fall. My motto is you can only get wet once, so we bravely moved into the next stop on the crawl schedule. 

Ironically, once my hair began to dry out it more than regained it's normal volume and waves. As the evening concluded, we were able to celebrate Pride in style, if not a dry one! 

It is a Pride I will remember because it was the night I slipped on a curb and re-micro broke my ankle.Hopefully this October at Pride I will be more careful!

 

Another Transgender First

From CNN:

"Rosemary Ketchum won a seat on a City Council in West Virginia, making her the first openly transgender elected official in the state. Ketchum, 26, was elected to the Wheeling City Council, after running on a platform addressing affordable housing and opioid addiction.

I am incredibly grateful to get the opportunity to represent my city" Ketchum said in a statement to CNN. "I hope that this election helps us push the needle in West Virginia so that we can fully embrace the power of culture, diversity, and representation in politics.

I ran for office because I believe the job of an elected official is to reflect the values of their community in the actions of their leadership and that is why I am excited to serve."

In the transgender community we need all of this style of young trans leadership.rship we can find!