The first comment comes from Michelleisback: " I know that the situation, where one realizes the dynamics of male/female interaction, has both good and bad connotations when it comes to wife and husband relationships. It's a real eye opener when you realize that you are the third party wallflower girlfriend, when watching you spouse interact with a male. It makes one wonder if she sees you as competition or just someone that has no recourse but to just go for the ride along and just sit quietly in the background. i guess all you can hope for is that your relationship with her is strong enough to remind her that you are partners in life."
Thanks for the comment! Unfortunately, I don't think my wife ever got to the point of ever seeing me as anything else but competition. In other words, our relationship as two women was toxic. Even though over the years I changed so much as I grew into being a transgender woman, I am not so sure we could have ever made it together as a couple.
In fact, before she passed away I was trying to live as a man the best I could. If I had to guess, I don't think I could have made it much farther the way I was going.
I will post another comment later!