Did "Zeke" Survive?

Yesterday I wrote the "Spoiler" post on the recent "Survivor" episode which unexpectedly outed a transgender man who was actually back for another try on the show. First of all, hell yes he survived because all of us trans folk are survivors!

I received two comments plus I added the Yahoo News post: " On Wednesday night’s episode of “Survivor,” the world watched as one contestant outed another as transgender.

During an emotional tribal council with the group, Jeff Varner turned to fellow contestant Zeke Smith and asked, “Why haven’t you told anyone here that you’re transgender?”

“Survivor” host Jeff Probst spoke exclusively with Yahoo Global News Anchor Katie Couric about his reaction.

Zeke Smith

“Everybody there had to replay in their head what they had just heard. I was the same way; I think Zeke was the same way,” Probst said. “It was a moment of ‘this just happened… I did hear what I think I just heard.’”

And the comments here on Cyrsti's Condo:

From Connie:

1. And then the show outed him to the whole world! The "reality" of the show is highly edited to the point of being unreal (or surreal, if they want it to be so). I don't watch the show, but I read that Probst thought the outing to be surreal, and the rest of the "cast" was appalled by the outing. I imagine they made that clear in the final edit. I hope the trans guy was OK with it all. If so, we can all take heart in the fact that the show has given a lesson to millions that it's not OK to out a trans person. It doesn't hurt their ratings with all of the hoopla, either.
2. And:
3. 
   Jeni SkunkApril 13, 2017 at 5:31 PM

   "I read the news article on this, on Gay Star News.
   Whilst these unreality TV shows have never been on my viewing list, it's interesting to read of how this one did play out during filming, near on 8 months ago"

I am sure the "editors" on Survivor played this up for all it was worth, but the fact still remains Zeke wanted to play the game as a man...not a trans man. Which I thought was important for the audience to understand. 

Plus the fact still remains that we (transgender women and trans men) still are an oddity of sorts, but even still we should not be the ones tossed under the bus for being trans. 

Whatever the editing, the punishment was swift and the other guy was sent home.

Spoiler

If for some reason you have been waiting to watch last night's episode of "Survivor" , I will only say there is a transgender person unexpectedly outed on the show.

If you are not familiar with the show, a group of men and women try to eliminate each other through basically alliances and mind games. The final winner gets a million dollars.

Last night a trans person was thrown under the out bound bus by a gay guy. So much for the LGBT umbrella!

It back fired and:

That's all I will say!

Trans Enough?

Connie's comment to my "Are you Trans Enough" post bares repeating:

"I wonder, is it that we grow to be more trans, or do we grow to be less trans? Is it our transness that causes the dysphoria, or is it the dysphoria that dictates the degree of transness? If we are attempting to be "trans enough", just what, or whom, are we doing that for?

I grew up not thinking I was "Trans" - the term had not even been coined yet. I can remember only that I wanted to grow up to be a woman, even if I had to grow up like a boy to get there. In that sense, is it possible that my transness was measured by my ability to make myself man enough? What I know now is that I'd HAD enough of that! Enough is enough, then. Being who I am now is more defined by living my life as the woman I saw myself becoming, as a child - not the transgender woman I, somehow, was given direction to become by someone else.

Attempting to be "trans enough" is as limiting as subscribing to the gender binary itself. It implies that one must measure transness by how close She comes to the Female end (or He comes to the Male end) of the scale. Transness, though, would also include how close He is to the Female end (or She comes close to the Male end) of the scale. The combinations are infinite, and the only person who can decide what is "trans enough" for her/himself is her/himself. That is, of course, if becoming "trans enough" is what he or she was looking to be in the first place.

One thing for sure, though, one has to be tough enough!"

Bravo!

Dove Transgender Mom

"Dove is being applauded for featuring a transgender mom in their new advertising campaign for #RealMoms.

‘There’s no one right way to do it at all,’ says Shea, who is seen in the video caring for their newborn son.

The grad student features in a new video advertisement from BabyDove. She is one of several women appearing in the advert, including working single mom to breakdancers to cattle ranchers."

Let me pause for a moment to add my applause! For more, go here.

Are You Trans Enough to be Woman Enough?

This post is designed to be a twist (not twisted I hope) on the theme of transgender women berating each other about not being "trans" enough.

First of all, for most of us, just getting to the point of achieving a feminine external presence to survive society seems at times to be a close to impossible task. Then, when we get there, the realization we were just getting started down our journey could be a shocker. Hadn't we spent years and years studying cis women? How hard could it be?  Playing one on one in the "girl's sandbox" can be tough and there has been more than one time when I have been content to sit back and play my "trans" card as two cis women battled it out. I suppose on those occasions I was "trans enough."

Being a quote - unquote "woman" is tough enough. I have always said being a man or a woman is a socialized term and not one you are anointed with from birth. So you have to be transgender enough to even feel like you want to go through the whole feminine socialization process. In fact, the socialization process is tougher between trans women than a cis- trans casual meeting.

Of course cis women are trained from early life to "throw shadows" since they don't operate on the same power bases as men. (Is that throwing shade?) An example would be when they compliment you on how nice your dress looks, when in fact they are thinking it looks good on a man wearing it.

So, how does someone crack the "trans" barrier and be able to play in the girls sandbox as an equal partner? If I knew the complete answer, I would be a rich person. But, from my experience, being trans enough has taught me to be careful of what I think I am seeing from other cis women. I have had a knife stuck in my back too many times not to.

If that was my only criteria to being woman enough, I would have achieved my goal.

The only other advice I can give from my humble viewpoint is, be careful not to come off like a bitch and stay mentally nimble. Somehow you need to give off the impression you are doing more than just throwing on a dress once in a while and going out in the world.

You may need it to be trans enough, to be woman enough!

Connie's Kids' Transgender Rhyme

"For some reason, while reading your post,(Being Transgender Follows Me)  I began envisioning the old Reading Primer we grew up learning from. With a trans-twist, though, I imagined this:

See Dick.
See Jane.
See Dick as Jane.
See Dick run.
See Jane run after Dick.
See Jane find Dick.
See Dick look.
See Dick look like Jane.
See Dick hide Jane.
See Jane run.
See, Dick is Jane.
See Jane.
See Jane with no Dick.

I wish I could accompany the story with illustrations. :-)"

It is probably for the best! An illustrated version may have a "X" rating!

Thailand...The Land of Opportunity?

Not so much for transgender women who are forced  to attend conscription for the nation's army.

Every April, Thai men who turn 21 must either volunteer to serve for six months in the military or take their chances in a lottery, where a choice of black ticket lets them go home but a red ticket means they must serve for two years.

Now, while many are mostly exempt from taking part in service, if they don't get the proper exemption documents they have to go along.

This has caused huge embarrassment and stress for many Thai trans women, and caused outcry from LGBT communities,

For more, go here.

Being Transgender Follows Me

It is an easy excuse for a complex problem I know. Very few humans know the feeling of not knowing their binary gender when they wake up every morning. We who have not had that "privilege" are forced to live day to day with is what is commonly known as "gender dysphoria."

In my case, the dysphoria caused me at the least anxiety and at the most a deep seated ache. I was the kid who didn't want the BB Gun and would have been happier with a doll.  But a BB Gun is what I got. Along with the knowledge I better start running as fast as I could from my gender malfunctions.

I was never fleet of foot anyway and over the years my transgender soul followed me, most of the time in a vicious battle to win my total being. Being who I was, the only thing I knew to do was to fight it the best I could.

Then, all of a sudden, in the midst of my journey, the world began to catch up to me. The psychiatric community declared trans people were not mentally ill after all and I learned the true meaning of the word transgender.

Still, running as fast as I could, I kept looking over my shoulder at my transgender self who was constantly gaining on me. At that point, I tried to self medicate myself with alcohol. The "more the merrier" almost killed my liver years later after I had tried a very active suicide attempt. Looking back, much of my reckless behavior had to do with "passive" suicide tries.

Finally, I was able to live life the way I have been happiest, as an out and proud transgender woman.

I know I paid my dues (about 50 years worth) but still being trans follows me. Into every rest room and face to face meeting with others, and it always will.

The toughest part now is knowing that no matter how hard I try, being transgender will always follow me.

Since I have accepted it though, the world is a brighter place!

Weinstein Company to Battle "R" Rating for Transgender Film

According to Variety:

"The Weinstein Company is taking on the ratings board over “3 Generations.”

The drama about a transgender teenager earned an R-rating from the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) for profanity and for sexual references. That means that moviegoers under the age of 17 can’t buy a ticket without a parent or guardian. The Weinstein Company is objecting, arguing that the film needs to be seen by high schoolers because it has a message of acceptance and inclusion that’s relevant at a time when transgender rights are being hotly debated. Transgender teens also have a higher suicide rates — 40% of transgender adults attempted to kill themselves, with 92% of those attempts coming before the age of 25."

“3 Generations” follows Ray (Elle Fanning), a teenager who has struggled with the body assigned to him at birth and is determined to start transitioning. First, however, he must find his biological father in order to get permission for the medical procedure."

Naomi Watts, who stars in the film as Ray’s mother Maggie, said: “This film is a beautiful and touching story about family and identity. It is important for teenagers to see it and the ‘R’ rating doesn’t reflect today’s society. ‘3 Generations’ doesn’t have a bad bone in its body, it’s an expression of love, acceptance, strength, and honesty — values that could not be more necessary right now.”

"In a separate statement, Susan Sarandon, who stars in the film as Ray’s grandmother commented, “‘3 Generations’ is an important movie for everyone to see, especially transgender youth who are feeling isolated or fearful and their families. It’s ridiculous to have an R rating which would prevent this audience from seeing the film.”