Working the Room?

Saturday night as I mentioned in the Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"- a bunch of us went to an amateur boxing event in downtown Dayton, Ohio. 

First of all, let me try to explain the physical set up. The ring itself for lack of a better term sat against the back wall in a space under a parking garage over hang. Chairs surrounded the ring in a semi circle with a beer truck on the left, and food concessions on the right (including the rest rooms.) Of course we ended up sitting on the left side. 

As it turned out, just before the boxing matches began, Liz and I thought a trip to the restrooms would be a good idea - so we did.  We headed along the semi circle aisle to the other side. I am sure the trip wasn't the mile and a half it felt like and I wasn't the visual cannon fodder to every woman in the seats behind me. On the other hand, I kept telling myself "shoulders back and chest out."

I found two things out for certain-the trip was not a mile and I survived.    

As far as being "cannon fodder?" I'm used to that!!!! I was busy looking for any other transgender women watching the event. 

"Houston - We DON'T Have a Problem."--Anymore

Seemingly, it has been nearly  four decades ago when Bobbie sent me the story about Phyllis Randolph Frye's story. The story was in the New York Times via Houston, Texas and represents why stealth was basically the only way to come out-back in the day. Unless you were blessed with incredible "natural" passing privilege.

Read on, (for Phyllis),  It was the summer of 1976. As Bruce Jenner, 26, was celebrating his decathlon victory at the Montreal Olympics, Phillip Frye, 28, was admitting defeat in suppressing his gender identity. He, becoming she, had already lost a lot: He had been forced to resign from the military for “sexual deviation.” He had been disowned by his parents, divorced by his first wife and separated from his son. He had been dismissed from several engineering jobs.

And there was more:

In response, (to coming out) she got her house egged, her tires slashed, and her driveway spray-painted with obscenities. Teenagers openly mocked her, the engineering profession blackballed her and the federal government rejected her for a job because of her “desire to impersonate the opposite sex.”

In the early days of writing Cyrsti's Condo, one my fave rants was an "anti-stealth" one. Perhaps age really does "dim" the memory to protect the innocent-or the guilty as far as the transgender community goes.

Cyrsti's Condo 'Quote of the DAY"

From the "reality" show Port Protection:

"Where the Women are Men and the Men are Animals."

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk another Sunday edition is hitting your virtual front porch. Here in Southwestern Ohio, we are back to what traditionally is called "Indian Summer" when much of our traditional summer heat and humidity returns for it's last "hurrah" before fall. Let's grab a cup 'o' joe (coffee) and get started!

Page One-The Week that Was or Wasn't: To me the biggest thing that has happened to me for awhile in the transgender world was the announcement from the Pentagon that an actual timetable has been set for allowing active duty transgender troops to serve openly for the first time in their military careers.

Also, along the way- the news of  Raffi Freedman-Gurspan, (left) a former policy adviser at the National Center for Transgender Equality, will serve as an outreach and recruitment director in the White House Office of Presidential Personnel. Obviously, great news on both!
Page Two- Opinion.- Pronouns and the Trans Person: To me at least, they shouldn't but the use of gender pronouns people use with me define me. Often though, it's not fair to a public who is just getting familiar with trans women and transgender men at all. Plus, we are asking a person to make a split second gender decision on us. I had plenty of examples this weekend alone. There was the clerk girl at the shoe store yesterday who started to call me "sir" (at the check out) and to her I just said "No, thank you sir."  

Then there was the receptionist at the Veteran's Administration a couple weeks ago who changed  pronouns on me seemingly ten times a minute until she was totally frustrated. The list goes on endlessly of course. The woman taking tickets at the amateur boxing match we went to last night (Thanks Kim!) he/she'd me instantly when she took my ticket.
Of course, I'm not alone (with many of you) in the fact "passing privilege" will never be 100% ours, and pronouns may always be a problem or embarrassment of sorts for both parties.  

I do have a solution though. Most of the offenders I encounter aren't doing anything inherently evil. They are just confused and uneducated. I am thinking of printing up a very short list of alleviating the public's questions and when I do encounter a person, I will give them one.

Page Three .-The Back Page: Most of you know, I am not much of a "fashionista" but this weekend I grabbed Liz (she smiled) and we went shoe shopping. I did get "radical" and dipped into my limited funds and bought a pair of "short" boots that come just above my ankles and a pair of green/teal actual women's tennis shoes. (I know neither are very sexy-but both are very functional.) So looking ahead at the tons of fall festivals in the area and later into the winter weather-I m set up fairly well with my three pairs of boots.
Well kids, I have to get going and rustle up another cup o joe As always, thanks for stopping by!!!! 'Luv ya' all!!!

Shock and Awe II

As I mentioned in my last Cyrsti's Condo post, yesterday was a very long day. So let's pick up where we left off-arriving at Liz's sometime around 6 PM after navigating some rather aggressive Cincinnati rush hour Friday traffic.

After a short half hour break, we were on the road again, this time to head out to the middle of nowhere. Somewhere out near Connersville, Indiana to pick up her son for the weekend from a mostly surly Dad. Most assume Indiana (like Ohio) is this vast cornfield. It;s not and the part we drove through was very hilly and I assume less than LGBT diverse. In fact Liz and I play this little game of how long I would last in some of these little towns. If I am wrong and you live in one, let me know and I will apologize! 

We arrived to pick the son around dusk and headed back towards Cinci stopping to eat at an well known chain of highway family dining restaurants (the ones with general stores.)

Everything was cool, we ordered our food-got it when Liz started to growl about the women who sat down at the table on our left. Basically she was saying "I am going to have to kick her arse if she keeps staring." For once, I hadn't even noticed but said "to hell with the woman, I was ready to knaw off my arm." Instead of bitching to management about her or saying something, I was just too tired to worry about the bitch. 

As luck would have it for the woman, her life at the restaurant got progressively worse as a fairly big group of diners became fairly boisterous. I turned and watched her faced as she glared and rolled her eyes. What was going on? She was having a big night out with a kid who could have been a grandson and a man who looked to be a 60 something like her and all hell breaks loose.

First she is subjected to sitting at a table next to me and then all that noise? Really?

She was in "Shock and Awe" of the situation! As was I as we finally rolled back into Liz's around 10 PM and I took a look in the mirror. Wowza! No wonder the woman was scared! So was I. Maybe a little upkeep on the hair as well as a makeup touch up would have been nice.

Oh well, maybe the whole evening will provide her with more church gossip and condemnations on Sunday. After all, she had to sit close to and stare at one of those trans what? women. And, oh yeah, about all those black people making all that noise...