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Way back when I was seriously considering dating men as I gender transitioned into a transgender woman, I was stood up (or gaslighted) by approximately half of the men who told me they were going to meet me. One of my requirements was we meet in a public setting of my choosing, which could have been pat of the problem. Who knows, maybe they really did come and secretly took a look at me and were scared off. I always thought the least they could have done was tell me. 

All of this time of being disappointed led me to wonder if the men in question were too afraid to be seen with me in public, what would happen if the relationship became serious enough that I was invited home with them to meet their family or even parents. It turned out I never had to face that terrifying  possibility because I never met and became that serious with a man at all. However, I did meet several women who embraced me for what I was and invited me to family functions. It turned out the transgender attracted men I met were just interested in me as some sort of a fetish object. They probably found out I could not compare to the transgender porn models they were watching who were impossibly beautiful. Before you think I am stereotyping all trans attracted men with a broad stroke, I did meet a couple of men I enjoyed my time with who weren't afraid to meet me in a public place and treat me as a woman. Plus there were a couple men I became friends with and often wondered what would have happened if they had not moved out of town.

Regardless, it was always my cis women friends who took me in and treated me as my authentic self. Often I was terrified and excited when women like Kim insisted I join her and her immediate family for a Monday Night NFL football game. I was so nervous I was sure every camera in the stadium was looking at me. It was one terrific learning experience. Then there was my wife Liz. 

It was not too long after we started seeing each other seriously she invited me on a family birthday party at a local steak house. It was her very conservative elderly fathers birthday and it was the first time I had ever really met him. Plus her brother was there who was not far removed from serving his third term in the Army in the Middle East. I felt I was surrounded and was very ill at ease. Somehow I made it though and even managed to enjoy part of the meal. For the rest of his life, I don't think Liz's Dad ever knew how to take me but at the least he wasn't mean to me. As far as the brother went, I barely see him and he barely talks when I do, so he is very much out of my life. 

I don't have any words of wisdom when it comes to going home with a friend to meet their family. For me. as I said, it was a terrifying experience but one I felt I had to live through to be accepted fully into the world. All part of my learning experience of what being a woman was really all about. I really appreciate those who weren't afraid to include me in their families.  Thanks all for the learning experience. I really needed someone to lean on.

2023 A New Year

 I am not sure which part of my life led me to be so short sighted in my thinking and planning. Perhaps it was the time during college or the military when I was forced to pick up and move every several years.

Along the way, I thought perhaps being transgender had an extreme baring on my short term thinking. I was always trying my best to not establish any long term relationships or even friendships because I never knew when I was going to have to give them up. If the friends or family discovered my deep dark secret of wanting to be a woman.

Maybe all of this background life led me to a point of where I tended to take each New Years as just another opportunity to drink quite a bit of alcohol. Many times, I didn’t even know if the current job I had would be long term enough to think about having a resolution about it. Luckily I was in a career field which offered the possibility of many and varied new jobs. So changing jobs to out run my gender issues became easier to do.

Even though now I didn’t drink much alcohol at all on New Years Eve, I still didn’t make any major resolutions. I just hope I can be more active in the New Year.

I understand it takes approximately sixty five or six days to establish a resolution into a habit. At the least I don’t have to worry about counting off the days to make a new habit I may have to work to change later. Maybe that should be my resolution isn’t one. Maybe one possibility I should take into consideration is thanking all of you for stopping by for taking the time to read my work. So many of you have taken the time to subscribe, clap or comment on my posts. I appreciate all of your effort more than I can say.

See you in the New Year!

A New Year

Happy New Years from
Liz (left) and I

 It doesn't seem possible but 2022 is history and it's time to face a new year. I do believe the older you get, the more time flies.

Looking back at the year gone by, I suppose I should mention a few highlights or even low points. The major highlight  of 2022 was my continued relatively good health. Without your health you have nothing. The major test I passed in the year gone by was a clear mammogram. I hope I never have to experience the irony of developing breast cancer in the breasts I so desperately wanted. To the point of the long term hormone replacement therapy which now is a big part of the developing of hips I am experiencing. It's another development I take for granted but shouldn't. 

Another major 2022 happening was when Liz and I were married. Since we had been together for eleven years, my daughter finally said why don't you two get married. And we did during a small ceremony with a few family members. It all turned out to be a low key start to the rest of our married life. I guess low key could be a good descriptor for the rest of the year.

Liz and I did manage once a month to get out and explore sometimes new places to eat or visit a couple long time favorites. My lack of walking ability restricted a few of the big events such as Cincinnati Pride but as long as walking wasn't a big priority, I was up to it. Just getting out into the public's eye helped me reinforce my confidence in presenting well as a transgender woman. My lack of being able to be as mobile as I wanted to be was one of the low points of the year. It's also one I hope to do better with in the upcoming year.

Another big positive was discovering Medium as another writers platform. While the content is the same as here on Blogger, Medium gives me a whole new audience to write for plus a chance to make a few dollars which helps to offset my hours of work.  As always I deeply appreciate all of you who stop by either platform to read my efforts. Thank you!

By far the low point of 2022 was the influx of anti-transgender and potential LGBT bills being pushed by a certain political party. In some states the politicians are trying to legislate we transgender people out of existence. Sadly, it is only going to get worse in 2023. We are just going to become more politically active to fight the gender bigots. What the bigots don't realize LGBT individuals all ready have developed a core strength which we can use to fight back. 2023 will have to witness our strength

Whatever the case, I hope you have a warm, safe and festive New Years!.