Thank You! And More

 

Photo by Howie R on
Unsplash

Thanks to all of you who took the time to congratulate Liz and I on our upcoming marriage vows. The response was overwhelming to both of us.  As I have written several times, the actual ceremony will be October 16th. 

In the meantime, it is therapy week for me on Thursday and Friday. Since I am bi-polar, I have a separate nurse practitioner to monitor my medications from the Veterans Administration doctors. It is a very in depth process since along the way, years ago, I admitted to the depression which led to to a very serious suicide attempt. So, just to be safe, I have to check in every three months. 

Friday is a different story. Every two weeks or so I have my regular appointment with my psychologist/therapist.  She is the one who over the years has helped me with securing hormone replacement therapy, legal name change documents and gender change documents within the VA. As you can tell, we have been together a long time. 

She has been with me from my time as a nervous cross dresser exploring HRT all the way to the present as I have lived as a full time transgender woman. I have shared all my insecurities with her. Especially the one of how it would be to throw out all my male clothes and take on the world. Important also was the fact my therapist is LGBTQ educated and could make the separation between my bi-polar moods and my transgender adjustment. I can not stress it enough, there is a HUGE difference between dressing up as a woman for special occasions to spending your life in a feminine world. I still have my problems with going into male dominated settings such as mechanics shops and even one trip to a junk yard. 

By now, I am sure you are thinking, what does this all with wishing you all a big thank you. I really appreciate too all of you who have taken the time and money to subscribe to Medium and those who comment on Google.

As far as my repeated warnings on the difference between being a cross dresser versus a transgender woman, I realize many of you can't make the jump if you wanted to. Been there, done that also. Be ready though life can change in a moment.  

Legally Complete

Dinner with Liz on the right
Jessie Hart

Yesterday, Liz and I made the big step of going to the courthouse and obtaining a marriage license following eleven years of knowing each other. No need to hurry, right? 

After walking what seemed like a mile to me to get to the courthouse, we made our way by elevator to the tenth floor where marriage licenses are done. As I waited for the process, the more nervous I became. How would the clerk perceive us and would there be a bias. At the least we would be perceived as two women getting married and at the worst I would be outed as a transgender woman marrying a cis-woman. It turned out the only major problem I was going to have was my own fault. There was a pre-certification process I had to fill out before we went to pick up and/or do the licensing process.

For one, somehow I filled out the wrong question concerning my deceased wife and they had me as divorced at the time of her death. If all of that was true (it wasn't) I would have had to come up with a divorce decree. I was able to convince the clerk I filled the form out wrong and I was definitely still married to her when she passed away. 

Once I passed that hurdle, I had to go way back in my old noggin to 1978, to my divorce from my first wife. I was able to search county records on line from my hometown and actually located the file of our disillusionment I was looking for. Ironically the hardest part of the entire process turned out to be the part I did correctly because the clerk said all my information had been accepted.

From then on, it was clear sailing as we filled out the rest of the necessary paperwork and paid out the seventy five dollar fee. By the way, no bias was shown due to our gender situation. For all the clerk knew, we were two women getting married. Just the way I wanted it. The only thing that made it difficult was my own mistakes filling out the information.

We are all set now until the official wedding date of October 16th. Liz in particular is excited for her first marriage. 

Last night we celebrated by going to our favorite Mexican restaurant to have a Margarita and talked about our past, present and most importantly our future. Somehow I have always felt two is better than one so yes I am excited about the future.    

Time Flies

Liz and I on New Years Eve

 Unfortunately for her, one of my Mom's well worn comments I never forgot  when she caught me wishing time away went something like this, "Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you come to the end, the faster it goes." 

The idea of Mom's is certainly coming true for me. An example is coming up tomorrow when Liz and I go down to the courthouse to secure our marriage license. It seems not so long ago the need to go was still weeks away. Before I know it, October 16th will be here and we will be married by our officiant Josh. For all of you who may wonder what an "officiant" is, Liz and I have not decided to be married by a minister/priest in a church. Josh is recognized by the state to do weddings and file the proper paperwork. He is also the leader of Liz's coven she is part of, so we will be in good hands. 

Hopefully, since we will be in an outdoor shelter hosue, the weather will cooperate also. 

Of course, this upcoming wedding is just one example of something either I never thought would happen or would be so far into my future I wouldn't have to worry about it for awhile. The older we get, the more time becomes compressed and moves along with more purpose. Perhaps it is why we think time is flying faster than before. Also when we were younger, you had time to overcome mistakes such as gender related issues. In all too many instances (such as my own) families need to be replaced and new friends secured. 

I was so old when I transitioned (60) I was certain a new life as a transgender woman was going to be a very solitary experience. One I was prepared to make even though I was still trying to meet others on line and in the very few venues I went to. Against all odds, Liz responded to an on-line search for that special someone. Impossibly I couldn't believe it was happening to me. 

Most of you know the rest of the story, in under a month I will be seventy three and shortly after that I will be into my third marriage. My first marriage ended fairly well and she knew the entire time I was a cross dresser. Most importantly my first wife was the mother of my only child, a daughter. The best gift ever. My second wife who also had no problems with my cross dressing always drew the line at any ideas of me having a transgender future passed away unexpectedly from a massive heart attack. No way possible did I ever think there would be a Mrs. Hart that  she would be me. 

Time does really fly by as the roll of toilet paper moves faster and faster.