Freedom of Choice?

Two important discussions came up last night in the transgender - cross dresser support group meeting I went to.  One of which involved the age old problem of "civilians" thinking trans people or cross dressers have a choice in choosing their gender lifestyle. Obviously, we don't. We don't wake up one day and think "Gee" this will be a great day to change my gender. Arguably one of the tougher things to do as a human being. Not to mention the havoc the change causes to family, friends and work.

To make matters worse, very few of us are "naturals" and have to go through all kinds of contortions to help our exteriors match what our interiors are feeling. I know I am basically speaking to the choir here in Cyrsti's Condo but if I am not, imagine waking up in the morning not knowing which gender you are.

These days though, we are fortunate to be experiencing the rise of the acceptance of "gender fluid" individuals. people are being accepted for being a curious mixture of the two binary genders, plus at the least, claiming gender fluidity gives questioning trans people a niche to go to while they explore where they are going with their lives.

All in all, times are a changing as we begin to explore all the fascinating facets of life humans can explore.

The second discussion which came up last night (by me) was how we know we are making the correct life choice as we begin our transition. Some end at cross dressing, others go all the way through surgery and physically change their gender. Take me for example. My inner gender compass centered up when I started to live full time as a transgender woman. I don't need to risk my body and have any surgeries.

My message last night seemed to resonate with a new attendee who was just starting down their (my assigned pronouns) gender path. They were questioning when they would know which direction they were headed as a cross dresser or beyond. I simply told them to try to feel what your inner compass was telling you but harder yet try to follow it.

I know it is easier said than done in most cases.

Such a Week

It was quite the week.  From critical medical tests to getting in trouble for my comment on a certain cross dresser I have known forever, the week seemed to go on and on..  Now I am awaiting results on my pulmonary (lung) tests and an update on my fractured ankle. I can't wait to put this behind me for the time being.

This week is promising to be much more mellow. Assuming the powers to be let me shed my walking boot and my breathing tests come back OK, all I really have to do is go to a cross dresser -transgender support group meeting tonight (Monday) and accompany Liz to her Doctor's appointments on Wednesday.

I can't say I will miss having to be somewhere everyday this week. I leave you with this thought:

Damn Hormones

I haven't written for awhile here in Cyrsti's Condo about my involvement with feminine hormones.  To be sure, it's been a rocky affair, with plenty of blind corners and unexpected results.

I guess since my recent brush with discontinuing my hormone replacement therapy all due to health concerns, has brought taking the life altering meds back into focus.

Many people over the years have asked about the process. First of all, most of all the usual changes in skin, breasts, hair etc, started taking effect for me relativity quickly. I would say in the first six months. However, as time passed on, the changes began to slow and all of a sudden, I was looking at 4 plus years on HRT.

Looking back, the biggest change over the years had to be the emotional roller coaster ride I experienced.  I think perhaps the emotional ride contributed to extra problems when I was in the middle of negotiating a particular difficult bout of gender dysphoria.

It was during that time I have considered re-evaluating the whole gender process I was going through. Calmer minds prevailed though.

Here's an example of the effect feminine hormones have on me. Yes, I cry but mostly when good things happen (especially during football games when Liz is making fun of me.) Yes, I have my own modest sized breasts which seems to fascinate some people. My skin is softer than it has ever been and am slowly and surely developing hips.

I an truly fortunate to be able to have undertaken this gender adventure health wise.