Singing in the Rain?

Well, not really. I will not subject anyone to my singing.

As far as the rain goes, we had plenty of it Saturday. Plus, we had plenty to do. For some reason, I am allergic to umbrellas and my hair took the brunt of a rainwater drenching. Seemingly, the rain would let up enough to get from one place to another and my hair would dry up enough to bring curls and friz, then pick up again and drench it.

After about the third time it happened, I gave up and even didn't care much when we went into one of my least liked places...an auto repair shop. By that time, I wanted to get everything done and get back home to watch football.

At least I was fortunate enough to be able to dress for the weather, sans umbrella. I wore a gray sweater, black jeans, gray boots and my scarlet and gray hand knitted scarf, compliments of my partner Liz. The colors by the way, are the same as my fave team The Ohio State Big Ten Champion Buckeyes.

Fortunately, my well worn black leather jacket is still hanging in there and kept me dry too.

So, since I didn't have to sing anywhere and the car was under warranty, a little (or lot of) rain didn't hurt me. At least we didn't get any of the severe storms the system produced to the West of us. And to hell with that umbrella. :)

Cis Gender Dysphoria

Every now and then we transgender women and trans men suffer from tunnel vision in our daily approaches to life. By the way, "cis gender" to me means a person born female or male. For the sake of simplicity, I know these binary birth terms do not apply to everyone.

Last night, I was listening to a cis feminine singer talk about how she worries about how she looks and it interferes with her life. To the point of her questioning the whole cult of beauty. I immediately thought I feel the same way...only worse.

Years ago, when I was first considering making the jump from cross dresser to trans woman, I was told several times by my cis woman friends, "Welcome to our world!." As I saw it then and now, women live in a much more complex world than men.

After all, all women (cis or transgender) worry to some degree about their appearance. Outside of the Walmart queens, the typical woman has some sort of problem with her breasts, hair, legs or other parts of her anatomy. Let alone make up, skin and just what is the proper outfit to wear?

I guess being part of "their world" means accepting a larger share of gender dysphoria.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

As we make the journey out of the closet, often our only friend (or enemy) is our mirror. Alas, though, the mirror tells us only what we want to hear. Again, good or bad. Most of the time, we don't look as good as we think we do...or as bad. We also don't realize the feminizing experience for the novice cross dresser or transgender woman is a trip full of more trial than error. The great majority of us don't have guidance on what is potentially our best, most flattering, style choices. Many end up as the 40 year old mall cross dressers in mini skirts and heels. Before we learn better styles.

The only way to get out of the mirror is to forge our way into the world. Which is easier said than done. Here is Connie's example:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEENovember 29, 2018 at 9:29 AM

"Again, we can only truly see ourselves when we see our reflection in the eyes of others. We first venture out, away from the reflection given by the mirror in our own homes, to be seen. Still, that is not enough, as we are only displaying ourselves as that same image we saw in the mirror. Exposing ourselves to others as more than that two-dimensional reflection finally allows us to see our full selves through other people. This is as true for our gender as it is for anything else about us."

Thanks! A great point to be sure. What happened to me was, the more I got out, the more I grew into my own feminine personality and away from just the outwardly appearance. 

From that point I learned I wanted to pursue my life on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) as a transgender woman.