Get Out of the Closet!

At Monday's transgender - cross dresser meeting, it occurred to me my coming out process was once again backwards when compared to so many others.

During the meeting, I normally have the chance to sit back and consider everyone else's experience and relate it to mine.

After my wife passed away, it left the door wide open to basically fully explore my life as a woman and I totally took advantage of it. Nearly every spare moment was used to go out cross dressed and see if my feminine dreams could become a reality. Then, I met two close cis female lesbian friends who refused to even acknowledge any maleness in me. They kept pushing me to never look back, in many unspoken ways. For example, I was always an invitee to anything from lesbian mixers to football games.

Then, came along my partner Liz who I just happened to meet on an online dating site.  As most of you already remember, Liz is also a lesbian identifying cis female. Even more than the other two women, she refused and still refuses to see any maleness in me at all. This even was back in the days before I started HRT hormones and was still wearing wigs. In fact, she was with me the New Years Eve when I took my first dosage.

Of course now, I wonder what took me so long to accept the inevitable, deep down inside the girl within me was finally going to get a chance to live her life.

It just took others to really see her. 

Snowy, Windy Monday in Trans Land

After a fairly decent day Sunday, which saw temperatures rising to near 60, this morning, winter reality set back in. We have a wintry mix of rain and snow blasted by up to 40 mile per hour winds.

So, due to the conditions, I rescheduled my hour and half one way trip to my endocrinologist. I have enough estrogen patches to get me by, I should be fine.

Tonight though, is one of the bi-monthly meetings of the transgender-cross dresser support groups I attend.

I like to go among, other reasons,  because I normally find some sort of blog material to write about. Although I don't mean that negatively. I have found a few decent acquaintances there.

Tomorrow,  the weather is supposed to be just cold and sunny, so I should be able to just bundle up and make both of m appointments. One with my therapist and one with my psychiatrist.

Busy Weekend

First of all, I hope all of you who happened to travel for Thanksgiving this weekend, a safe journey to and from your destination.

We stayed close to home as I wrote about before and enjoyed a real decadent feast, which I gave blessings for. Knowing full well, so many others aren't so fortunate. For once, Liz's often standoffish brother was even semi nice to me.

Friday night we met up with some old friends we hadn't seen forever. Ironically (or maybe not so much so) I spent most of my time talking girl talk with two of the youngest women at the table...both millennial. It all was very satisfying and pleasant.

Yesterday (Saturday) was football day with The Ohio State Buckeyes crushing their arch rivals, who I can't mention by name, despite being under dogs in their own stadium. Due to a serious brain cyst, I still believe the team's famous coach will retire this year. But I digress.

Saturday night we were invited to go back to an oft visited up-scale Italian restaurant we go to. I wore a cream colored sweater (which I promptly spattered with sauce) with my long black embroidered skirt with flats. Surprisingly, the lead cross dresser who normally comes dressed, this time came as his male self and was less obnoxious. I don't know why the female attire makes him try so hard for social acceptance. Maybe it is because  he feels more secure when he has his male privilege.

Coming up this week on Monday and Tuesday, it's time for my endocrinologist appointment to see if maybe I can increase my estrogen dosage a little bit.

Finally, Tuesday I have an appointment with my therapist and the psychiatrist who fills all my other meds. So it's starting off to be a busy week!