Feminizing Medications

The last time I went to my therapist, she gave me an article which contained guidelines for the changes you can expect overtime when you decide to take hormones designed to feminize your appearance. They come from a group of Western New York organizations. Including the Gay and Lesbian Medical Alliance, the National Center for Trans Equality and others.

Here are the recommendations for feminizing HRT:

Breast growth - 3 to 6 months
Body fat redistribution - 3 to 6 months
Thinning of body hair - 6 to 12 months

Softening of skin/less oily - 3 to 6 months
Decreased testicular volume - 3-6 months

I would add from my own results, quite a bit of change is determined by how much your dosage is when you start. For example, nearly all of my first year on hormones was at a minimum and then a year later I was taken off my meds totally due to a medical problem. So. all together I have been on HRT for nearly five years. I would also add (for me) my hair growth (on my head) took off and finally after all these years I am starting to see fat distribution to my hips.

Of course emotionally, I began to feel the feminizing effects immediately. I cried more in the first three months or so than I had in my entire life. Finally, I learned how cis women deal with their thermostats. When they say they are cold, believe me, I found out they are and then again there were the vicious hot flashes one can go through.

When I talk about transgender women and HRT though, I always tell you all this disclaimer: Please seek medical attention before you undertake this process.

Additional information from where I received mine (including masculiniizing medications) can be obtained by going here: www.gayalliance.org.

Finally, remember too, HRT is no replacement for the woman you feel in your head. It's only a tool to align yourself, if you can safely do it medically.

Victory March?

At last night's transgender - cross dresser support group meeting, it occurred to me how long and drawn out process the journey is to cross the gender frontier and live with your gender dysphoria.

Last night, the full range of people were there. We had everyone from a total beginner to gender fluid individuals to full time trans women and a trans man.

As the beginner struggled with his/hers emotions and talked to the group, I remembered back to my ancient transvestite days when I first came out to a small group of friends. Rightfully so, it seems like it was long ago.

As most of you Cyrsti Condo regulars know, my journey includes several suicide attempts. One active and a couple passive ones. That is why I consider my path a victory march

I can't ever tell you it gets a whole lot easier but then again, life becomes so much more satisfying. A victory to be sure.

Gender Dysphoria

Saturday Liz and I went out to eat with her brother to celebrate two birthdays...hers and her son's. The steakhouse we went to is very familiar to me and really, I have never had any problems there. So, I couldn't understand why my dysphoria was giving me fits. It can only be described as a deep seated groundless anxiety.

Of course, it started to settle down as once again, outside of a couple looks, I didn't receive any negative attention. Even when I used the women's restroom.

I suppose I might as well just get used to it. Being transgender brings with it the inherent need for feminine acceptance and often, the acceptance is very hard to find in a world out to justify it's own acceptance.

On many occasions, I refer to my dysphoria as a form of PTSD. Which could be true too. I personally have never met any trans women who haven't experienced it. Some to the extent of subjecting themselves to seemingly endless painful medical operations.

I just went through too much error, in the "trial and error" cross dressing period of my life and, when you think of it, lasted much longer (so far) than my full time out and about years as a trans woman.

It's ironic too that I haven't experienced any significant public problems in years, so I can't justify the way I feel. At all. Perhaps I might as well just get used to it!