Brutal

I need to make the drive to Dayton for one of my support group meetings. The trip up to Dayton takes about an hour and a half, one way...in easy traffic. When I go to my monthly veterans LGBTQ support group meeting, it doesn't let out until four o'clock which means in rush hour traffic, I won't get home for two hours minimum. I'm going to have to tell my therapist I can't make it anymore unless something changes.

In the meantime, the group was very small yesterday. Only another transgender woman and a gay man  The gay guy told a very sad story of being HIV positive in the gay community. And the total rejection he felt.

So, not much else to report from the meeting as none of the fun people attended! My problem is, I can't enjoy the meeting because I am worried about the drive back.

A Tweet in the Night

My phone is set to loudly announce a text message or tweet whenever I happen to receive one. Every now and then, I set my phone on the end stand beside the bed when I sleep. Rarely, does anything happen until last night.

About three or so in the wee hours of the morning, I got a tweet. Mind you now, I don't do much on Twitter, so I rolled back over and went back to sleep. I did check it when I got rolling in the morning and it simply said "I want to be a woman." First I thought well duh, who doesn't?

Then, I got to think how hard it is for a transgender person to come to grips concerning their inner gender. And, after that, how difficult the journey is to sync up your inner and outer persons.

I wondered if the person who sent me the text was serious enough to face all the challenges of crossing the gender frontier.

Or was the message just a lost soul in the night, who I will never know.

I don't sugar coat much of anything, so it's hard for me to paint a rosy picture for any questioning transgender person. The easy answer of hitch up those big girl panties and proceed to go at it alone, because many times there simply is no one to help you.

However, I do have a big shoulder to cry on.

Seattle

Our Cyrsti's Condo post concerning places to live when you are transgender, elicited several responses about the City of Seattle:

1. FABULOUSCONNIEDEESeptember 15, 2018 at 3:39 PM

   "I suppose I might have it easier here in Seattle, but it only takes one hater to ruin a day. They are out there, and it's true that some of them may feel more emboldened due to the demeanor of the current president and administration. It really wasn't that long ago (ten years) that I was still hiding myself for fear of anyone seeing who I thought was the "real me". As we spoke of on an earlier post, getting one's own house in order should be first on the list. No matter where you may live, if you don't show your self-confidence, along with a sincere effort to blend in, you are setting yourself up for a possibly terrible experience. The bullies are drawn to signs of weakness. Developing a thicker skin is also helpful, but I wouldn't depend on it as defense against physical assault.
   
   I have been accosted a number of times, and assaulted once. There have been a few "Me Too" incidents, as well. Everything physical happened in drinking establishments when I was alone, so I take care not to put myself in those situations anymore. At least my self-confidence and self-esteem have risen to the point where I don't run back to the closet in tears when something negative happens. I refuse to allow my gender identity, or someone else's perception of it, to make me a victim. No matter how bad the world may look, having a victim mentality only makes it worse.
   
   I have my pride, I won't abide!"
2. Great advice! Thanks :)
3. 
   Emma GraySeptember 15, 2018 at 11:22 PM

   "I moved from the SF Bay Area (where I was born, raised, schooled, and worked) to Seattle just over a year ago. Maybe my opinion is biased by the wonderful change in scenery but, in my opinion, Seattle and environs are a transgender Mecca. I love it here."
4. Thanks to you too Emma!