Wednesday, March 21, 2018

The Devil Made me Do It!

The farther along a person travels down their transgender road, the more they learn about the devil (or angel) being in the details. Forget just how you look, every step or mis-spoken communication carries the possibility of an unpleasant experience. An example would be the times I have written long and often about here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning my major learning experiences in woman to woman communication as I Mtf gender transitioned. Briefly, I found myself in a (sometimes) brave new world. On occasion, the whole experience was just brutal as I was more stubborn than good.

As often happens around here, Connie has a current different perspective to pass along:

"Coming home from downtown, today, I couldn't help but stare at a teenage boy as he stepped off the bus. It wasn't so much that I was staring in judgment, but I was just in amazement that he could move at all with his jeans belted around his thighs. I'll admit that I don't understand why he'd want to dress that way, but I suppose there are plenty of people who can't understand why I dress the way I do. In a way, I think he and I are helping each other, in that the more of us who are deemed "non-understandable" and are visibly just going about our lives, the more we are apt to be tolerated - or, better yet, acceptable.

My bus ride on the way downtown this morning was also interesting. There were few seats available where I could sit alone when I boarded, and, while I'm always hesitant to sit down next to someone in order to avoid a possible negative confrontation, I'm always happy to make room for someone to sit next to me.

As the seats filled up with each stop, a young woman, who had been sitting on one of the side-facing seats at the front of the bus, got up and came back to sit next to me. I had actually been trying not to stare at her earlier; she was a beautiful young black woman with magnificent dreadlocks of black and pink. Unbeknownst to her, though, she had saved me from a potentially awkward situation. An old "friend" of mine boarded the bus, and he took the seat she had left. I avoided eye contact with him the whole trip to downtown, hiding partially behind the woman's voluminous dreads.

Why was I hiding from this guy? Well, since coming out to him years ago, he has almost always misgendered and dead-named me. It was always hard enough to put up with when we were alone, but I'm not about to give him the opportunity to embarrass me in front of a whole busload of people!

There's the one you don't know and the one you know, but one needs to be aware that the devil can be found anywhere. Every once in a while, though, you can also find an angel."
Thanks!

Is It Time?

I was recently reading a Femulate  post in which Stana relayed several of her most asked questions along. One of the questions revolved around establishing a female voice...not just a feminine one.

It is true, no matter how feminine you look, your voice can give you away instantly.

To begin with, I have constant problems with my voice to start with. It is very raspy. Coming from many years working as a disc jockey "back in the day." If I had my choice, I would/could develop a voice which sounds like Jacqueline Bisset.  ( Right)

My problem is I am voice lazy too. Being full time, it is easy to relapse into old voice habits and then try to bring out a more feminine tone when I am out in public. Sometimes I  think I am more successful than others but it doesn't really matter if I am just guessing...does it?

At any rate, I have a couple options. One would be to have Liz help me, or it's possible to schedule an appointment with a VA voice therapist, or finally take a course such as the one Stana recommends called "How to Develop a a Female Voice" by Melanie Anne Phillips.

The only benefit of the first two options are they are free. But then again, you get what you pay for.

My next step is to ask Liz about her opinion and ask my VA therapist if she has heard anything about the in house therapist there. I know she has outside recommendations, but as always, there are financial considerations to look at. Plus, Melanie's course is not that expensive.

I know one thing for sure, the voice status quo is getting old and it's time to do something about it. Instead of my voice being a liability to my transgender presentation, it's time to work on making it a positive.


Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Spooky

One of our old cars seemingly knows when we have some extra money, so it can break down. So today I had to cancel going to one of my transgender support groups. It wasn't such a difficult decision since the weather forecast is calling for a possible mix of rain and snow all day today. Plus a chance of the dreaded freezing rain.

We still managed to go out to dinner last night after dropping the car off at the mechanic's place. Nothing spectacular happened out of place as the place was nearly empty and we have been there many times before. I was wearing one of my sweaters and jeans and light makeup since I wasn't planning on going there anyhow. Close to what I was wearing a couple nights ago when we went into pick up Liz's son at the drugstore where he was getting off from work. Where something did happen.

At the front counter, was a guy and his teen aged son checking out and he nearly broke his neck turning around to look at me. He felt the need to turn completely around to stare at me. I looked, and per norm, his much younger son was paying me no attention at all. I thought the old man was going to say something but he didn't.

On the positive side, I finally had the chance to meet the transgender guy who works there and that was fun. He is the one who has the "he and his" pronouns written on his name tag.

Such is life!

In the Passing Lane

JJ Hart. Early on in my life as a very serious cross dresser before I came out as a transgender woman, I obsessed about my presentation as a...