Transitioning Around Transitioning

As I have mentioned many times here in Cyrsti's Condo, there are many stages in a Mtf transition. Very rarely I suppose, does a transgender woman wake up early in her transition and say "this is the day", go out and throw her male clothes in the trash.

Personally, I think I went through at least distinct transitions before I arrived at the point I am today.

Let's check in on Connie's ideas:

"FABULOUSCONNIEDEEDecember 16, 2017 at 11:43 AM

In my mind, I had begun transition about 18 months before I went full-time living as a woman. There had been little doubt that I was ready (long overdue, really) to live as my true self, but I felt obligated to others to plan and allow them to transition along with me. That is, family and friends were more important to me than whatever solace my transition may have brought me. By that time, I had already been living 80% as a woman, which was pretty easy. The last 20% took a lot of work, however. The 80% was in terms of time, but the 20% of time was ten times more important to me. Three Thanksgivings have passed now since I began my 100% life, and I couldn't imagine going back to 80% - which is as far back as I know I could manage, anyway.

I, like Paula, am a musician. I had long wondered how I would be accepted by an audience as a woman, and also by other musicians. I had been performing for mostly cross dressers for about a year, but that was more of a novelty, and not so affirming. I was in a blues/jazz band as my male self at the same time, and one day I secured a job for the band at a charity event called "Cross Dress for Success," raising money for "Dress for Success," helping low income women with business attire to help them find jobs. Using my cunning and decisiveness (honed so well over the years), I had a clause put in the contract that "at least one member of the band must be cross dressed." That opened the door for me to come out to my band, but what happened later was far beyond my expectations. Someone at the event wanted to hire us for another event (having nothing to do with trans), but insisted that I be just who I am. That led to a series of gigs for "Connie Dee and The Sciaticats (we all had bad backs, but were cool as cats), and I never appeared on stage as my old male self again. I went on to bill myself as "The Fabulous Connie Dee," adding the "fabulous" because there was already a "Connie Dee," hence the name you see here.

I'd have to say that love is what helps to make the decision to transition. Love who you are, love those who are important to you, and love what you do (or continue to do what you always loved)."

As always thanks!

I too agree with the 80%. I had an tendency to over think the final 20% as I transitioned. I was too concerned with every move I made and with every nuance of how I looked. It was only after I finally began to gain confidence (and relax) did I begin to really enjoy my new life.

Rugby Mini Dress

Thanks to all of you who continue to help me to write Cyrsti's Condo! These comments from Paula and Michelle deserve to be repeated:

1. Paula GoodwinDecember 15, 2017 at 1:16 PM

   "I always thought that American Football was a girls game anyway! Sometimes when I am with friends who have known me for a long time, and the conversation turns to my game (Rugby Union ~ I played in the front row!) anyone who overhears the conversation can get a little confused. I am sure that there are some men who have felt their masculinity undermined when somebody as apparently Macho as I appeared to be rejects their own masculinity, but, I suspect that this often indicates a lack of security in their own sexuality or masculinity.
   
   I make it point of pride only to wear rugby shirts of teams I have played for or against, I still have the shirt I used at my last club, it's just that now I wear it as a mini dress!
2. 
   Michelle HartDecember 15, 2017 at 2:53 PM

   I had to laugh when you were describing how you dealt with the tow truck driver.
   
   And yes you are right about how women start learning early on how to act around men (basically how to stroke their egos) to accomplish a goal."
3. Paula, while I wouldn't go as far (of course)  by calling American Football a girls game, there are women playing it now...so you could be right! Plus I have seen a semi-pro women's football team up close and personal, and I would  not want to make any enemies of them. Also, I thought the Australians played the toughest rugby :)
4. I had a long The Ohio State University football jersey, which could have been worn as a mini dress...just never did it.
5. And Michelle (no relation), I did learn a powerful lesson with the tow driver, just smile, shut up, and make him feel good by making a fool of himself! It's no wonder cis women have such a different view of dealing with men that we trans girls have to learn as we cross the gender frontier!
6. Thanks to both for your comments!

We Made the Cut!

In an ever increasing attempt to curtail free speech in this country, the orange menace (Rump) and crowd have banned certain words for government agencies to use...including transgender.

Here is more from the Washington Post: 

"By Lena H. Sun and Juliet Eilperin December 15 at 6:53 PM 

The Trump administration is prohibiting officials at the nation’s top public health agency from using a list of seven words or phrases — including “fetus” and “transgender” — in any official documents being prepared for next year’s budget.

Policy analysts at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta were told of the list of forbidden words at a meeting Thursday with senior CDC officials who oversee the budget, according to an analyst who took part in the 90-minute briefing. The forbidden words are “vulnerable,” “entitlement,” “diversity,” “transgender,” “fetus,” “evidence-based” and “science-based.”

And:

"The question of how to address such issues as sexual orientation, gender identity and abortion rights — all of which received significant visibility under the Obama administration — has surfaced repeatedly in federal agencies since President Trump took office. Several key departments — including Health and Human Services, which oversees the CDC, as well as Justice, Education, and Housing and Urban Development — have changed some federal policies and how they collect government information about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans.

I have no further comment about how ugly this makes me feel about the current fascist administration.