How Did I Get Here?

I used to write anti stealth posts here in Cyrsti's Condo about transgender women transitioning and then going stealth, to be never heard from again.

Many years later, I find myself in the same spot.

It has occurred to me I am the trans stealth person now for a couple of reasons. The first being, I really don't care what the public thinks of me and if the truth be known, most need to see and/or interact with a transgender person anyhow.

The second reason being is I think I am better in living a feminine lifestyle. Or, at the least I am used to it, through more error than trial over the years. I have settled in to the person I thought I could become and blend with other cis-women in the world.

In other words, going stealth was a natural turn of events. After all, I went through all the trouble of having my legal gender markers changed to female.

I used to see "landmarks" in my MtF gender transition.  Now all I see is life. So I guess, stealth is good after all. Looking back, I am pretty sure I know how I got here, now I sure as hell don't ever want to leave.

It's Amazing!

Well once again, it seems the "Dumptster" has been dealt dual set backs in his quest to deny transgender troops the right to serve in the military. A third judge as well as the Pentagon itself has said after January first, trans woman and trans men can enlist and serve in the U.S. military.

Since the people's minority president spends four hours of his day watching television, I'm sure he will be finding other activities to zero in on, like screwing up the Middle East or starting a nuclear war.

Locally, the news concerning trans students in a local school district was not good. Last night a major school district in the Cincinnati area voted not to extend LGBT transgender protections to their students. Of course the meeting was packed by local alt right Evangelicals who shot it down. To but it into perspective, this is close to the same area as Leelah Alcorns' parents live.

Not so amazing. I wish I could have written a "fluff" post today. But, I just couldn't. Sorry.

The Pendulum Swings

I believe the winding course which takes us from being a part time cross dresser to a full time transgender woman has a pendulum. It swings back and forth until you decide on the feminine person you ultimately will become as you regain your heritage.

You may always want/need to dress in heels and hose or (on the other hand) you may end up loving your girl jeans and boots. It's trans human nature, sort of like being a princess, per Connie:

"FABULOUSCONNIEDEEDecember 10, 2017 at 4:05 PM

It's OK to feel like a princess once in a while. In fact, every woman - cis or trans - has a right to it. Looking back, I see that my cross dressing experiences were like crossing a line each time. I was feeling the princess in me, but I was simultaneously trying to block out the essence of my self in order to do so. Soon after entering the women's world 24/7, I found myself more in a zone - a zone in which I might feel like a chambermaid one moment, and a princess the next. 

The princess feeling may come and go, and it may be as small and fleeting as having a man open a door for me or a knowing smile from another woman. Sure, I experienced a bit of that when cross dressed, but I had to cross a line first. I can tell you now, though, that these feelings are so much more affirming in my life as a woman (trans woman, if you insist) than they were when I was only temporarily presenting a facade.

Above it all is that I would rather live within the zone as a chambermaid, with fewer opportunities to be a princess, than to have to cross a line in order to feel like a princess for a few hours at a time. The princess feeling can come at any time, not just after I've made a conscious effort to step over a line."

Very true! Thanks! :)