Jump! ...Suit

I was watching one of Liz's sewing shows this morning on one of our PBS television channels. Liz is a seamstress and the show's theme today was the returning popularity of the pants or jump-suit for women.

The show brought back many memories I had about a black jump-suit I just loved back in the day...when they were in style. I remember I was lucky to find it in my size in a deep discount store and it fit wonderfully. The only problem was when I had to potty, I had to almost take it all off.

Ancient picture of the wig I wore with the pants-suit

The jumpsuit was also what I wore on the evening I chose to go out and seriously begin to live as a transgender woman. It was also the first night I can remember I was making a conscious choice to move from a cross dresser to a trans woman.
Perhaps you remember the Cyrsti's Condo post detailing the extreme fear I felt on the evening. The "suit" helped me to succeed that night because it was upscale and fit in with the professional women who were coming in after work. I was able to blend in easily.

The jump-suit also fit in well when I went shopping in several of the upscale malls in Columbus, Ohio. Again, I fit right in with many of the other cis-women as I shopped.

As fond as the memories were though, I don't think I would try to wear a pants-suit again.

Reality or Fantasy?

Back in the day, my deceased wife and I would engage in many discussions/arguments over my cross dressing only being fantasy based and having nothing to do with knowing how a "real" woman lived. Little did she know, when she called me the "Pretty, pretty princess" I was motivated to learn exactly what she was talking about...learn how to live as a "real" woman.

It turns out Connie had a similar experience:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEDecember 9, 2017 at 2:10 PM

"As we both heard from our spouses early on, "You just want all the fun parts of being a girl!" For me, that comment made me really examine my gender identity. It caused me, at once, both shame and indignation. I hated myself for living out a fantasy at the expense of our relationship, but how dare she say that it was only a fantasy! By all appearances, though, she was right. I had been holding back my real femininity in order to be able to compartmentalize my feminine and masculine presentations. When I explained that to her later, and she graciously accepted my need to let go of the masculine, the freedom (and the responsibility) of embracing the feminine world opened the door to a life that was so much more natural to me than I'd ever experienced before.

As a man, I always preferred the company of women on a social level. I was seen by them as a sensitive and gentle man. Women would confide in me like they would not to most guys, and I learned so much about myself in the process. I actually had an empathy for women that most men could not ever comprehend. The thing that was so upsetting to me, though, is that I was not so well received by women when I was "just having fun" being one. Yes, I had been looking at life from both sides, but it wasn't until I melded them together - being who I really am - that I have been able to be seen by both women and men as having validity. Now, this validity may not be of a cis woman's, but it is close enough that I get respect for who I am. I can't ask for more than that."

As life went on, I found out my wife was right...I was just being a princess but my life was to change dramatically, and no I never became the "queen."

Thanks Connie for sharing.

How High or Low can You Go?

Liz was discussing with me my Cyrsti's Condo post about the socialization similarities between cis and transgender women.

I'm paraphrasing here, but she said she thought many cross dressers and/or trans women don't understand the seriousness cis women grow up with, when life comes down to appearance. How a whole day can be ruined when an outfit is under appreciated.

On the other hand she agreed with me when I brought up how good we can feel the moment we sense everything has come together and we look the best we can.

She also said, most cis women pass through a certain time of their lives when they are sure they look their best. But, as time passes by, the cis woman has to rely on other features to make them still feel attractive.

That's why, I do my best to take care of my aging skin. If you are on a budget and have an "Big Lots" store nearby, they sell cosmetic facial wipes for around a dollar a pack (30 wipes.) My personal faves are the "green tea" wipes. They do a fantastic job of removing all my makeup and deep cleansing my skin.

Older picture with shorter hair and old glasses.

Plus, as you have all probably read, I try to walk everyday for all the benefits it can provide-including the all important weight control. I figured long ago, if I was seriously considering playing in the girls sandbox as a transgender woman, I needed to start to work at it.

Sometimes I wonder, when someone says they "cannot pass", are they working hard enough to do it. Very, very few of us can naturally head out into a feminine world and be successful. I also tell everyone to not necessarily become enamored with all the pictures you see on the web. The best looking cross dresser - transgender woman in the world can not make it as a trans woman if she walks and talks like a linebacker.

In fact, Liz says "I'm such a girl" when she out cusses me. On the other hand she is always telling me I have a problem with my posture.

It's like everything else in life...highs and lows are part of existence. Just head on back to the drawing board and do better. No matter what age you are or how you perceive your appearance.