Getting Dressed to Shoes

Liz is a huge fan of the Marla Cilley book, Sink Reflections. One of the chapters I am going to very loosely paraphrase is called "Getting Dressed to Shoes."

In it, the author goes into some detail of how the slightest detail of being a woman can make or break your day and/or demeanor. She says it can be anything from sexy lingerie, a string of pearls all the way to your fave fragrance.

But, she insists your shoes should at the least be something you have to lace up.

I know by now you are thinking, what does all of this have to do with me? I know several transgender women who wouldn't be caught dead without their heels, all the way to those who feel dead in them. I also know closeted trans or cross dressers who don't feel dressed without the feel of silky panties under their very male work clothes.

I found it extremely interesting how this cis-woman author described all of this.

Years ago, Liz asked me what kind of woman would I become (as far as feminine upkeep goes.) As you Cyrsti's Condo regulars know, I am mainly very casual but...if I know I am going out (even for a walk) I need to add some foundation and eye makeup. Plus I have the constant reminder of my hair and breasts to reinforce some inner femininity.

Obviously, it is to each their own, I also know several cis-women who spend quite a bit of time (at least an hour) to insure their hair and makeup is ready for public consumption...as well as trans women.

Indeed transgender or cross dressing variety is the spice of life and don't forget to lace up those shoes!

Saluting All Veterans

Being a transgender veteran myself, I would be remiss in not mentioning all transgender veterans. Including current or veteran serving/or served in the Armed Forces of the United States. When you consider the percentages of trans vets, you can not think about all of those who went before us who silently took their secret to the grave.

Plus, these days we (trans people) still find ourselves fighting for our rights to even fight for our country thanks to the current administration. Seemingly, though, those efforts have been derailed in the court system.

Transgender or not, thanks for your sacrifice.

Passages

As I continue to put together a possible workshop title for the Trans Ohio Symposium this Spring, I dredge up old memories and wonder why I went down certain paths.

One major one revolved the fact I had the penchant for certain people seeing me both ways, as a man and as a cross dressed woman.

As we all know, time makes for an excellent filter. Good or bad, we have a chance to re-live and wonder about the past.

One word which keeps appearing in my past is validation and my earliest senses of being validated as a cross dressed woman came from Halloween parties. In fact, it took me years to realize when somebody complimented me it was "You look good as a woman...for a man."  Somehow I finally realized the difference between reality, pictures and the mirror.

Summer Picture

I was missing the key element of feeling comfortable in my own skin which finally led to a confidence I had never known as a transgender woman. Plus the biggest key to it all was the ability for me to grow my own hair. (Yours may be different of course.)

Passages for all of us transgender women are easy to over simplify, which I think leads to the infamous "I'm more trans than you debacle."

One way or another, the journey never seems to totally end, it just gets easier with time...most of the time.