Mtf Transitioning - With an Automatic Trans

From Connie in reply to yesterdays Cyrsti's Condo LGBT blog post:

"The internet has been of value for more than just the information. It was in a forum setting that we met online, and (at least on my end), the sharing of thoughts and ideas was of great help toward our individual transitions. You have continued this through this blog - and I can't help but to chime in, just as before. 

I started all of my scheming and worrying about the age of eleven. I knew that I could not be a girl, but I imagined that I could move away to a place nobody knew me when I turned eighteen, and simply live my life as a young woman. I so wanted to grow up to be a woman, and I even began sneaking my mom's car out in the middle of the night just to drive around as though I were.

I've told this story before, but my mom's reaction was actually priceless when she'd figured out that I'd driven the car one night. Because I was wearing her clothes and one of her wigs, and the fact that we looked an awful lot alike, she was only upset because she was afraid someone might have thought she were out at 3:00 AM! It was as if a thirteen-year-old driving was not a problem at all. I call that my "automatic transition with an automatic transmission." :-) It didn't end up as easy as that sounds, though. Like you, "full time" for me began after the age of 60."

Interestingly, several of us talked about the "whys and hows" of transgender transitioning after the age of 60 during my last transgender - crossdresser support group meeting. Most came to the conclusion it was a now or never lifetime opportunity for them. 

Thanks Connie!

The Steps Within a MtF Gender Transition

I get asked time and time again when did I "start" my transition. Ideally, it is not that an easy of an answer.

I didn't seriously consider going "full-time" until my 60's but had always been a serious cross dresser before that, going back into my twenties when I constantly spent time considering how or if I could ever transition. So, if you do the math, that is at least 45 years going on fifty.

That's why I tell people, actually, I was in a constant transition state whether I knew/accepted it or not. I do wish I could recoup just part of the time I spent scheming and/or worrying about where my life was headed.

Ironically, the same stubbornness which kept me guessing, helped me accept I was transgender along the way as more knowledge mainly via the internet became available.

Early Transition Picture

Thus "transgender transition" to me is not a static or concrete thing. Rather, it evolves over time with our lives.

It sounds like a "cop-out" but I tell peeps I have been transitioning forever.

Spaced Out!

Yesterday turned out to be one of those expected/unexpected late summer days as temperatures reached ninety (with equal humidity.) I had to go to one of my transgender support groups, this one at the Veterans Administration Hospital in Dayton, Ohio so I had to use my cars 260 air conditioning...two windows down at 60 MPH. So it was hot.

I dressed down for the occasion, wearing a relatively low cut sleeveless tank top and distressed jeans with my walking shoes for the normally long walk along the VA's parking lot to get a spot to park.

Once I did, all was good and the group gained another member. She actually is still serving and is very effeminate and mainly still in the closet due to the current administration's  harassment. Our on again off again SRS girl was back sporting a brand new wig and makeup and looked much better. I was happy for her until she couldn't keep her hands off me.

I enjoy my space and only let select individuals into it, if I can help it. So yesterday, I didn't grin and bear it.

On the bright side, I learned I can attend another larger transgender group which meets after ours once a month on the third Tuesday. All I have to do is stay up in Dayton another couple hours until the meeting and then come back, skipping all the nasty Cincinnati rush hour traffic. Plus, I have had several invitations to attend their meetings, which makes me feel good!

I also had to stop in downtown Dayton yesterday to pickup the last piece of legal paperwork finishing off my probate property work. It was like returning to my old stomping grounds as the office was near the cluster of Dayton gay bars I essentially started to go out in public too. The whole experience brought back good and bad memories. Including the one when I was nearly accosted by myself by two men leaving a club.

I learned my lesson the hard way about cis/trans women and space that early morning for sure.