Spaced Out!

Yesterday turned out to be one of those expected/unexpected late summer days as temperatures reached ninety (with equal humidity.) I had to go to one of my transgender support groups, this one at the Veterans Administration Hospital in Dayton, Ohio so I had to use my cars 260 air conditioning...two windows down at 60 MPH. So it was hot.

I dressed down for the occasion, wearing a relatively low cut sleeveless tank top and distressed jeans with my walking shoes for the normally long walk along the VA's parking lot to get a spot to park.

Once I did, all was good and the group gained another member. She actually is still serving and is very effeminate and mainly still in the closet due to the current administration's  harassment. Our on again off again SRS girl was back sporting a brand new wig and makeup and looked much better. I was happy for her until she couldn't keep her hands off me.

I enjoy my space and only let select individuals into it, if I can help it. So yesterday, I didn't grin and bear it.

On the bright side, I learned I can attend another larger transgender group which meets after ours once a month on the third Tuesday. All I have to do is stay up in Dayton another couple hours until the meeting and then come back, skipping all the nasty Cincinnati rush hour traffic. Plus, I have had several invitations to attend their meetings, which makes me feel good!

I also had to stop in downtown Dayton yesterday to pickup the last piece of legal paperwork finishing off my probate property work. It was like returning to my old stomping grounds as the office was near the cluster of Dayton gay bars I essentially started to go out in public too. The whole experience brought back good and bad memories. Including the one when I was nearly accosted by myself by two men leaving a club.

I learned my lesson the hard way about cis/trans women and space that early morning for sure.

Time to Get Active!

Before transition and weight loss.

I wrote the other day about weight loss as a way to better present yourself as a transgender woman. And, how I lost about 50 pounds before HRT set in and my male metabolism slowed down.

Now I have gained back about twenty pounds and it is time to do something about it. It is especially important now as thanks to the hormones, I am adding hip tissue for the first time. Naturally that means I want a more defined waist line to take advantage of the process.

Some of you have asked how do I take my estrogen. I take estrodial in patch form. I started with pills until my new endocrinologist said he thought patches would be easier on my system. Other transgender women I know have told me they had problems with the patches staying on, but that has never been a problem for me. I never have considered shots because injecting myself never seemed like having kicks and giggles.

Speaking of hormones, last Friday, I battled a bout of melancholy when I put on my new patches and was "weepy" into the next day. The symptoms fortunately didn't go into hot flashes, which I have had before. Mainly when I started the dosage of HRT I am on now.

Whatever the symptoms, I look at the process as being what a normal cis woman faces at some point in her life. So, if I want to play in the girls' sandbox...get over it!  

Such A Week!

Last week, we scorched Cyrsti's Condo with a discussion which basically revolved around passing privilege, or the lack there of.

Past all of that were the meetings I went to.  At which I tend to lose all sense of gender objectivity. What I mean is, none of the people who accept the real me, never knew the old me. At this point of my life, it's hard somehow to accept it still. Perhaps it always will be.

On another subject totally, I am warming (again) to doing another presentation in the Spring at the annual Trans Ohio Symposium. I am thinking of a subject such as "Lesson's Learned from Fifty Years in the Closet." My problem continues to be over thinking the project to the point of wondering, "Who gives a damn?" At any rate, I have plenty of time to over think it!

Also, as fall sets in, I am thinking of getting started (seriously) on my second book, which is partially written already. I am so scatter brained, it will be tough not to start on book three at the same time. We will see how much self control I have.

Fall to me has always represented the ultimate transition season. I always wondered as the trees changed and lost their leaves, when if ever I could ever admit I was transgender and begin the ultimate Mtf gender transition.

So, I have a lot to think about, which fits me fine!