Cyrsti's Condo Archive Post...Don't Answer too Fast!

Way back (about seven years ago) when I was slowly exploring my LGBT transgender roots, several cis women played key roles which they had no inkling of. Here was one:

"During another of one of my evenings out, I encountered yet another communication stumbling block.

I have been slowly building a new friendship with a  worker at one of my regular stops.
She knew, I'm sure- she was dealing with a transgender person. (Probably for the first time ever) I was taking it slow until one of my long time friends who also works there came up and joined in the conversation. She immediately added quite a bit more info about me.

All of that was fine but all of the sudden the conversation took on a whole new dynamic.  She started talk to me as a "trans woman" person for a second and then jumped into a real "girl on girl" discussion. I really had to not anticipate where the question was coming from.

Remember, I was still relatively new to the one on one female conversation as it pertains to real life.  Sure I've been on the outside looking in.  Plenty of the "I love your ear-rings or hair". Now it's more of the in depth talk about guys, family and shopping.

Instead of the usual  questions of why I do what I do. (Understandable) The discussion started that way and then went girl to girl. I was really surprised!

The best part of the whole evening was she knows I'm going out tonight with two of the other female bartenders to a competing pub in an upscale mall.  She is relatively new to the area and asked a few questions about where I go.

It would be great fun to spend some time with her!"

I will have to find the post about when I went out with the two women and pass it along to you.

LGBT "Biker Girl" Revisited

This post is the latest in the series of archive posts I am presenting and one which could have changed my life forever, had I acted on it. Again, at this point of my life I still considered myself a transitioning cross dresser, refusing to accept my true transgender self.

"I had been frequenting a couple of the casual chain bar/restaurants in the area for over ten years. On my first visit, I was so scared I took a seat next to a supporting post around the bar and tried to blend with it! Nothing in my closet that screamed Oak, so that didn't work.

I lived that night and found out the world wasn't trying to destroy me and continued to return. In fact, a couple of the bartenders that have waited on me since the beginning are still there!
I also became pretty good "buds" (no not the beer) with the crew of the companies' other unit. I ended up one night sitting next to one of the bartender's sister. I had heard stories about the exotic "stripper sis" and wasn't sorry!


She was exotic with some well placed tats. Her other job was as a hairdresser and she proceeded to tell me how much she loved tr--nies and gave me some tips on my appearance. She even went as far as inviting me to sister #3's bachelorette party. (another story)

Her husband was always with her. He was a big guy with a classic Triumph bike and the look to go with it. He ran a lumber yard. What a threesome!

The only problem was she loved to trade shots and the extra Jaeger and Tequila was hard to survive!
About three months later, she broke up with her husband. I guess exotic strippers have a hard time with monogamy? One night after the breakup, he came in with about three other friends that I knew..
Regardless of his decision making process with women, the poor guy was heartbroken. I tried to lend some support the best I could and away I went.

A week later, he was in the bar again and came over to sit next to me. Much to my (and the bartender's amazement) he was really interested in talking about things like his bike and music. He was leaning into me ever so slightly and added some light touches. He had to be at work early the next morning, gave me his cell number and left. He never asked for mine.

One of the bigger mistakes I've made is that I never called him. Only saw him once after that and he moved away.

At that point in my life my profile would have read "no men" After my brief encounter with him, I changed that profile. Ever so briefly I connected with a person who shared many of the same interests with me. Ever so quickly, I never tried to see the gentle bear of a guy again.
All of a sudden spending time with a guy wasn't such a bad thought.

I often wondered what that ride on the back of his Triumph would have been like!"

Cross Dressing Melodies?

In a recent post I mentioned being slurred by people playing "Dude Looks Like a Lady" on a jute box and/or by a DJ. As suspected, I am not the only one:

From Connie: "I think just about all of us have had to endure the "Dude Looks Like a Lady" on the jukebox, along with the snickering from the small-minded little boys who think they are so clever to have thought of such a funny thing to do. I occasionally go to a karaoke night at a nearby place, cuz I love to sing, but gigs with a live band are sometimes few and far between. I get requests from others to sing with them on the stage most every time I go, and I'm usually happy to help people who may need a little encouragement. One night, though, a guy tried to kind of gaslight me. I walked directly off the stage when I recognized the intro to "Lola". The worst part of it, to me, was not that he had set it up, but that he had set it up with the karaoke hostess ahead of time. I had thought her to be a friend, and, even though I believed her when she said later that the connection never occurred to her, I couldn't really understand how it didn't. 

Another of the hard lessons we learn in transitioning is that, although there will always be the insensitive jerks in this world, we can't always assume that our friends and allies are as sensitive to our situation as we are, ourselves. It's best to grow a thicker skin even before we might grow bigger breasts"

Thanks Connie! I had forgotten about the "Kinks, Lola" although it is a classic tune. However, I have never been slurred by arse holes playing it. Probably, because they are younger and don't remember it!

Even though "Dude" is not supposed to be about a cross dresser or transgender woman, people when it was released chose to make it derogatory slur against us.

Hopefully soon it too will fade with time.