Some Like it Hot!

Then again some don't like it this hot. Our first heavy duty week of summer 90 degree plus temperatures and high humidity is upon us here in Southwestern Ohio. Which means of course everyone's most important beauty asset is skin.

I do the best I can with tank tops and a few lightweight t shirts I own, but I will need to get to the store soon to replenish my wardrobe. Here is a picture from last summer below. On the bright side, I don't think there is anything more feminine than feeling your hair brush the back of your neck.

I thank the Goddess I don't have to wear hot wigs anymore, but on occasion grumble because of all the hot hair I carry around now.

And, then, there is the infamous "under boob" sweat cis- women complain about. It's very real.

Finally, as I am done whining, about things I have brought on myself as a transgender woman, one of the trans women brought up a good point at the meeting the other night.

She said (a 30 something person) the big point of demarcation for her spouse and cross dressing was when she was able to grow her hair out far enough to quit wearing wigs. Somehow, someway, the wife felt the wigs gave her a "costume" look or feel. And her own hair made the whole process so much more serious.

I never thought of it quite that way, but when I was able to wear my own hair was the period of time I was able to really improve my transgender presentation.  Of course I know I am one of the fortunate trans women to have very little male pattern baldness.

I don't think summer will ever be my most favorite season of the year, but I guess I will live with it...
right? :)

In the Grasp

Connie wrote in with a well written comment on yesterdays' Cyrsti's Condo blog post about a transgender woman's not so wanted advances by a couple of men:

" What's within my grasp is not for anyone else to grasp, unless I give my permission to do so. Unfortunately, the prospects of finding someone who would want to have that permission are greatly reduced in transition - even less than the chance of being pinched by some creepy misogynist.

I have been on the receiving end (pun intended) of unwanted touching, grabbing, and even groping many times. I will admit to having been a bit flattered by some of the earlier ones, but still with the accompanying creepy feeling of being violated. I have yet to slap a man in the face for his egregious act, but I have gotten to the point where I could muster up the nerve to do it soon - if not the very next time. Shouldn't slapping a man in the face be considered to be a woman's rite of passage, as well?"

I agree, at the least backing a man down should be a "woman's rite of passage." Plus at some point, every cis woman has to face the barrier of looking attractive and possibly then garnering the wrong sort of attention for her work.

It's a another lesson cis girls learn at a young age plus have the added pressure of their peer groups to deal with.

Then again, we have all known guys that are just creepy. When we were guys, or after we transitioned into transgender women. And what is worse is when we are considered some some of an "easy" mark to hit on for a guy as a trans woman.

Be Careful What You Wish For?

Yesterday I went to a sparsely attended CrossPort meeting for transgender and cross dressed women. Probably due to to some intense summer heat, attendance was down.

All the attendee's were trans and at least on HRT except for one who was planning on starting soon. Two had already completed SRS.

One of the younger attendee's was commenting on a recent experience she had in which she has some off color comments from men and even butt grabbed. Most of the group viewed the experience as a rite of passage of sort. I think the differences are if the person viewed the experiences as a validation of their femininity or a form of bullying.  

The trans woman in question is in the process of transitioning well and in fact is almost undistinguishable  as a former man. And, as someone in the room pointed out, got her butt pinched because she had a "nice one." So much for the toxic male male influence leaving that person!

Another problem the person spoke of was the sudden friction she was experiencing between her formerly understanding wife and her. It seems (among other things) her job has turned around unexpectedly to the point of offering SRS insurance next year. So, perhaps, when push is coming to shove, the wife is feeling the pressure of losing her former husband to a totally attractive passable woman. Stressful to be sure for any relationship.

I'm sad, because together, they make a delightful couple but not one which is destined to go long term.

Plus, too many of us still put too much emphasis on looks. And, the specter of finding a mate for the rest of your life has to be intimidating for the average trans person. No matter how well they have transitioned.

So, be careful what you wish for. It could be within your grasp!