Are We Really Disposable?

This year so far at least seven transgender women have been reported killed. The fact remains in some areas of this country and the world, trans women seem to be deemed disposable.

In a recent post, I mentioned how small a deal being miss-pronouned is compared to being killed as echoed in this comment from Paula:

"The last couple of days I too have been thinking about how easy I have it compared to some others, I am self employed, live in the civilized capital of a civilized country, and can still claim my White, Middle Class, Middle Age privilege. Young trans people of all colors in many countries put their lives at risk on a daily basis, and I bitch if someone gets a pronoun wrong!"

The problem we are seeing in this country of course is a rise in hate crimes as seen in the antisemitism attacks everywhere. And, as Paula alluded to, not everyone is fortunate enough to live in areas which are more liberal and civilized. So many under educated and under employed transgender individuals are pretty much stuck, waiting for change which may never come for them. Especially trans people of color.

I wish I had an answer to the carnage except it is yet another reminder of how we all have to learn the lessons of cis women everywhere, be very careful where you go and beware of your surroundings. 

All Quiet on the Midwestern Front?

When we last visited, I was chatting about taking my car into the repair shop. Well about 400 dollars later, a couple bearings have been replaced and the "Rolls" is back on the road. I shouldn't complain, have of the work was under warranty so it could have been a lot worse.

Interestingly, one of the younger guys I deal with there was on duty and took care of checking me out. (Taking my money.) He is pretty cool and just said "Hi Cyrsti" and took care of everything. From there we stopped at a grocery store and came on home. Such is life?

Every once in a while I do flash back in my mind to the days when I was considering going 24/7. Was I indeed more than a cross dresser and was there anything wrong with that? (No!) Even still, the thought of never wearing male clothes again was at the same time scary and exhilarating. For me, the choice wasn't completely clear until I took a leap off a cliff and tried it.

After I did of course and settled into a feminine lifestyle, I knew I had made the right choice but I had it easy. I took and early retirement and didn't haven't to worry about Mtf transitioning on the job. For the most part too, I had a tight knit set of friends and family who accepted me as a transgender woman. So I didn't have to totally restart my life again.

So, when I bitch and moan about the small things like being mis-gendered here and there, I have to step back and remember how good I really have it.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood-Almost

Yesterday I had to take my Rolls Royce into one of my least fave places to visit, the auto repair shop.

The visit started well enough when the guy called me "mam' and I immediately felt more at ease. But as usually happens, in the middle of the conversation, he became gender confused with me. This time I even tried to stay ahead of the curve and project a feminine aura.(To make sure I wasn't projecting any male vibes subconsciously) Which didn't seem to work either. I guess sooner or later I will have to get used to the fact that when I get up close and too personal with most of the public, I will be read as transgender.

It could be and has been worse though. At least no one has been outwardly cruel to me.

Plus every time it happens, I take the time to "go back to the drawing board" and examine what I can do to make my presentation a little bit better!