In the meantime, a great alternative to being presentation obsessed is being attitude obsessed. Not that you shouldn't always try to put your best foot forward as a trans woman (even if in heels or tennis shoes), the proper attitude can take you a long way. Let's check in with Connie:
(Recently) " I was approached, separately, by a trans man and a trans woman. Both of them were just beginning their respective transitions, and I can only guess that they felt the need to approach me because I looked as though I could be some sort of mentor to them. Although I was dressed for the work I was doing (jeans and T shirt), I do think I was presenting well. More than that, though, I think my confidence level just shows (maybe even via an aura?). Whatever it is, it has to be the same thing that either draws someone in or leads to the "scowl".
As I've said many times before, my FFS is a Fast & Friendly Smile, and I will give one to anyone who makes eye contact with me. If I get a scowl in return, it's not my problem, but their's. In the two cases mentioned above, had I been dressed up in a dress and heels, I may not have seemed so approachable, but I still would have smiled!
No matter how dressed up a trans woman is, the one thing she should not forget to wear is a smile on her face! :-)"
The "smile" accessory was one of the earliest additions to presenting I learned when I started to navigate the feminine world. I faced (no pun intended) the fact that most of the world would "read" me but I was able to "disarm" them with a smile of my own.
If a person is predetermined not to like a transgender women, be a bitchy one to make sure they never will!
