The Dance of the Genders

With the recent "explosion" of attention regarding the ongoing treatment of women in our society brought on by one of the presidential candidates, I can't help but comment on a very complx issue, brought on by the fact I identify as a transgender woman.

First of all, as a guy I heard every degrogative feminine comment- and as I transistioned put myself in the same category. Otherwise known as losing my male privilege. I find it interesting certain cis women say it's not my problem and I don't understand it, but I do. Maybe better because of my perch on both sides of the gender fence.

As I hit dating age "back in the day" I wondered how girls did it. They managed to walk that fine line between "being respectable" and holding the keys to reproduction for the most part. If a girl was attractive and didn't "put out" it put her in a different category than the ones who supposedly  did. The dance dictated much speculation between genders. (In a pre birth control era.)

Of course, those were more innocent days and now increasingly through social media we hear of women who are/were forced into sexual situations against their will. Especially and tragically, younger ones.

As a former member of the male gender, I simply don't understand the whys or hows of a guy drugging a woman for sex or other creepy actvities. As I have written here a number of times, being over powered by a guy was a very real possibility for me one night. Ironically, my wife said my dress had a lot to do with it it. NO, what ever you wear should not enable any man to take any advantage of you he wants. And no these are not an extended version of "boys being boys."

If it is, families need to take a closer look at what it means to raise a son inot manhood.

At my advanced age of 67 it seems to me the dance of the genders has been wrecked, then  again, whatever has been wrecked can be repaired. Afterall, the "Millennial Generation" seems to be the most accepting transgender group ever.

One way or another cis and trans women and men needs to talk about and help repair the dance.

Hiatus?

Perhaps, if you have noticed a lack of posts around here lately, you are right,

Due to techincal and logistical problems, I have had a tough time doing any posting.

Thanks for your understanding!

Jessie

Halloween, Connie Style

Presenting a great post from Connie on the Halloween season:

"Back in the 80's, when it seemed that cross dressers were the most sought-after guests for the talk shows like Oprah, Donahue, Geraldo, and Sally (many of the episodes I still have on VHS tapes somewhere), one comment from the audience of one such show stuck to me like glue: "Every day must be like Halloween for you people." It was meant to be a cheap shot, I'm sure, but it resonated with me because I was, at that time, closeted and trying to figure out just who (or what?) I was.

 The small wardrobe, makeup, and wigs I kept locked up did not seem to be the makings of a costume at all to me. Those things simply helped me to express the person I felt myself to be - if only to myself. However, I thought, if other people only perceived my expression to be that of a Halloween costuming, it would be best to stay home in my locked room. I was tempted every Halloween to go out, as the "excuse" would make my presentation more "acceptable", but I knew that it would end up being much less than satisfying for me. Even some years later, after my secret had been made known to my wife, I did not attend Halloween parties dressed as a woman. 

 The mixed review (or view?) from my wife was that I looked too good for anyone to believe that it was merely a costume I was wearing. It was not until I faced up to the fact that I was a woman deep inside, and I had ventured out as that woman a number of times, that I felt comfortable adorning a Halloween costume. I had finally reached a point where I felt I could be a woman wearing a woman's costume; not a man wearing a woman's costume. Whether anyone else might have found my presentation to be "acceptable" because of the season then made no difference to me, as I had finally come to accept myself for who I was. No, every day is NOT Halloween for me, but I do enjoy taking on a different character each October now."

Thanks Connie!!!