Living the Halloween Dream (Archive Post)

This experience goes way back into the days when I got out of the Army in the mid 1970's. I did what every other returning vet did (not),  used my GI Bill to get a second degree and bought a little bar with a friend.  My Dad came up with the classic quote about the bar when he said "At least it has two doors, so the flies don't have to stop when they pass through."

Of course I was into "warp" mode as far as my cross dressing activities were concerned. After years of forced depredation from anything feminine in the Army, the last Halloween party I went to before I got out primed the pump so to speak or the lipstick.

Last Halloween 

To put the time sequence in perspective, I was discharged in January, my first wife in March and we were married later that year.  I was out to her as a cross dresser and she made the comment (I have mentioned here in Crysti's Condo) that she really didn't know which one of me was going to pick her up at the airport.  She is a very good person, the mother of my daughter and we see each other and get along to this day...but... she is a just very easy going person. Sometimes I thought if I came home and said I'm going to go for SRS tomorrow, she just would have said that's cool dear. I know some of you will think,  "Wow, that IS  cool!" You have to understand me. If something is too easy then something is lurking in the shadows to nip you in the rear plus I had a very conservation macho family to consider too.

At any rate, Halloween that year turned out to be fun filled trip over to Columbus (Ohio) where one of the newly restored Victorian theaters was having a "Spook Out".  At midnight they were presenting the classic silent "Phantom of the Opera" with the restored house organ presenting the music. We went with another couple who were "kind of " in costume which I was too-mini skirt, long hair, heels, hose and all.

All these years later, I remember several things. First of all, this was one of my first experiences of feeling how uncomfortable an extended time walking in heels could be plus a mini skirt is wonderful to be admired in the mirror,  but took constant work to move in modestly.  Secondly, for the most part I wasn't even noticed at all because of all the other wonderful costumes. I still remember the guy dressed as the Pope, complete with two other guys following him in costume holding his cape.

As much of a rush these early Halloween's were though, the more painful they became later.  The next day I was already trying to figure out what my next cross dressing experience was going to be.  A very difficult process which made me a very grumpy person.  The problem was I knew staying home in front of the mirror in a dress just wasn't going to be enough and I had no idea of what enough may actually be.  So I took my "Halloween Fix" and moved on.

It's October and Time for Halloween

What are your goals? To pass for friend and foe? To dress up for work? Just to slut it up and party? All of the above?

If you and new to all of this cross dressing, perhaps you have spent a ton of time thinking about those questions already. If not, here are a few hard fought lessons I learned, mostly at the expense of my feet.

Way "back in the day" during my first real Halloween in drag, essentially I learned three things. Mainly, those three or four inch heels I picked out were simply not built for any sort of comfort (for me) and very quickly I was in agony. I also learned the demarcation point in doing a "ha-ha" drag impersonation and being way more serious is shaving your legs. I did shave mine and heard about it for weeks from my cis woman friends. And finally, getting the compliment "you have great legs" does not mean you are one of the rare few men who are naturals at making the external transformation into women. You may have the great legs as many men actually do, but it's what above them that often counts with your broad shoulders.

Regardless of all the warnings, I found Halloween to be a great time to get out and "strut my stuff" at the time in my life I couldn't. Plus I could live vicariously through a couple very effeminate servers on my staff at a couple restaurants I ran. One in particular was cross dressed by his girl friend and looked so convincing, many of my regulars asked when the new female server started. I was more than a tad envious as I was dressed in my old Army uniform.

On the other hand, Halloween was similar to a huge wad of cotton candy to me. After the evening was over, I couldn't figure out how I was going to make it another year until another "fix." How I began to get around all of that is a story for another blog post but essentially marked the point when I began to test my feminine presence in the world.

Over the remainder of October I'm going to try to pass along a few of my Halloween stories. Some scary, some fun and some flat out exciting.

It's All in the Awareness?

Both my "muse" and my daughter commented on my last post, being "guarded" more as my transgender self than at any other time in my life.

Ironically both came up with similar points called awareness. I don't think it is too much of an over statement to say women need to be more aware of more things in their lives than men. I have always said women lead a more layered existence than men anyhow and when you look at a guys' power structure, it's more obvious. A man can lead with his muscle, looks, athleticism and maybe sometimes even his brain and that's it.

Women of course have much more including families, kids and yes, men themselves -trying to beat them up in record numbers. As soon as I was on HRT for any length of time, somehow the world softened for me and my senses heightened. But...

It took me several instances of being in the wrong place at the wrong time to learn being threatened as a woman was no laughing matter.

So awareness indeed is a better word and never one to use just with men. I learned the hard way when certain women would come after me with their claws hidden, sharp and headed for my back.

As I always mention, if you are testing the public waters as a transgender woman for the first time, watch for the dark alleys. Literally and figuratively!