You Know Your Are Old When?

Without a doubt I have visited more Doc's of different persuasions in the past six months than in the past 20 years. I'm just lucky to have my VA coverage to help me.

Last week was a down time with just my mammogram and a trip to my psychologist. Next week though, I visit my endocrinologist (to see if I can restart my estrogen). Plus I have what I call "vampire day" when they take a pint of my blood and I give another couple of vials for them to check for results.

But you know, before you feel the need to pass the cheese to me to go with my "whine", I can't believe all the others I have ran into lately with problems I can't even imagine. And my heart goes out to all of them.

Last night for example, Liz and I went to one of our small meet up groups. Out of ten or so women in the room, I was the only one transgender and born male. After three fourths of the experiences of violence and drug abuse from current or ex husband/boyfriends-I was ashamed to have ever walked in my guy shoes. 

As I have always wrote in Cyrsti's Condo, males are not born men-just as females are not born women. Both are socialized.

And, speaking of gender socialization, Dr. Phil recently had a show about an intersex child who was being raised as a boy by Mom and a girl by Dad (divorced). http://www.drphil.com/#Show2484



As you all know, I rarely recommend Dr. Phil, but this is a quality show. 

Family Ties?

Thanks to all of you who responded to my Cyrsti's Condo post about my only sibling (younger brother by two years) who pulled the plug this year for an invitation to the family Thanksgiving. When I told him I was transgender.

If you are wondering how it became his domain, it's because my deceased wife insisted she cook it and serve it every Thanksgiving for at least a decade. Just bring yourself.

As I wrote, first I was surprised, disappointed and then just hurt. And, most certainly, there was some anger worked in. 

The first comment comes from Shelle lles:

"I'm more than distressed about your brother,you deserve much more in life.
As for the mammogram and Shrink thing that was last week for me have a really funny story to share on my mammogram coming to my new blog soon.
Hugzz my dear friend keep moving forward always"

Thanks Shelle! You know I will and all of this has given me an extra incentive to do so! We will look for your post!

And, Connie wrote"

"I'm sorry about your brother's un-accepting "condition". It's an example of how our own transitions require the transitions of everyone around us. If he could only understand the despair you lived with all of those years, in fear that revealing yourself would lead to rejection. That fear was more disturbing to you than the actual rejection, 

I imagine. I'm so happy that you have such wonderful support from Liz and your daughter, though. We can't choose the families we're born into any more than we could have chosen the gender identities with which we were born - but we can choose who we love. I pray that your brother comes around to that realization some day."

Deep down, I feel like he already has and he didn't have the "balls" to stand up to his in laws and my nephews. His burden-not mine and yes Liz and my kid have already stepped up to fill the void.

In fact at Liz's family Thanksgiving her 90 year old NRA card carrying WWII Vet, took the occasion to tell how much he enjoyed having me there. As one chapter ends, another begins.

The Starship "Transgender?"

Neil deGrasse Tyson is by far my fave "astro physicist" if fact I had no idea of what an astro physicist was until I began to watch him and his Star Talk Show on the National Geographic Channel.  Last night's show was extra special though as he featured an interview with another of my "faves" Susan Sarandon.

Dr. Oppenheimer 

As the show wound it's way around more than a few concepts I don't pretend to totally understand-all of the sudden they were discussing one I did: it turns out Tyson's lead chair is Dr. Rebecca Oppenheimer. 

Dr. Oppenheimer is a comparative exoplanetary scientist: she studies planets orbiting stars other than the Sun. This nascent field is so young that much of the work involves developing the techniques needed to see these planets, so that their light can be dissected and analyzed. Her optics laboratory in the Rose Center is the birthplace of a number of new astronomical instruments designed to tackle this problem. In March 2004, Dr. Oppenheimer deployed the world's most sensitive coronagraph at the AEOS Telescope in Maui. See lyot.org for more information. In June 2008, her team deployed an even more precise and sensitive exoplanet imaging system at the Palomar Observatory. This instrument is called Project 1640 and involves researchers at AMNH, Cambridge, Caltech, and NASA/JPL. All of these instrumentation efforts, as well as several others including the starlight suppression system for the International Gemini Observatory Planet Imager project (GPI), were conducted in Oppenheimer's lab in the Rose Center at AMNH.

And oh by the way Dr. Oppenheimer is a transgender woman and I paraphrase: or a woman who happened to be made to live as Ben.  And what if gender wasn't an issue anyhow?

An idea we have pondered for most of out lives! For whatever reason, I could not come up with much of a link for his show tonight. You are on your own this time.