My "Boy Friend" Jeans

For the first time this morning I actually felt a pair of my old guy jeans navigating over my hips when I put them on!

Nearly  16 months ago, my first prescribing doctor told me with the HRT dosages I was on it would take at least year to see weight distribution in my hip area. I have indeed thought the process was happening but had never felt it until today.
Of course my cynical mind went to work and I thought "well here I am in my own boyfriend jeans and he was me."

On a deeper level of course I'm finally to a point as a transgender woman when my new feminine curves are starting to fill out all of my clothes- male or female the right way.

Of course I still have a long way to go but I decided to step back and look a little closer at my progress.

Here's an example:  I have always told you all I'm not a frilly girl and I sleep in some of my favorite ex large long t shirts.  For once I paused to take a look at the progress I have made- in just the T-shirt and I was scared. The shirt came down to a couple inches on my thighs and of course about three quarters of the way down my arms...A good test.

First of all, I am my own worst critic and nothing is good enough.  I have to say as I tried to be unbiased, the person looking back at me in the mirror looked fairly feminine. I thought Wow,  this HRT project is coming along how the "experts" told me it would.

My hair on my head grew and got fuller as predicted. My breasts have developed close to a small "B" and the hair on my body has nearly disappeared (except my beard of course -dammit). Finally,  my skin grew rapidly smoother from head to toe. Now the weight distribution has been just some more icing on the cake. All I could think was "Wow! this is very cool!". But I better not eat any of the icing!

The "I told you so expert" I referred to was my endocrinologist. On my last visit after my blood tests he said "Well your estrogen is up nicely and your "t" is very low. We should stay the course on the HRT we are doing now and let the estrogen win the battle for your body." None of us should ever forget messing with your body's hormones on HRT is not without risks. So I am happy to have an "expert" in my corner- even though I'm impatient for more changes.

In the meantime my estrogen is winning battles when I wasn't looking and now I'm waiting for her to win the war!

"HorrorScope"!

Just because it's a cloudy rainy morning here in Cyrsti's Condo land. That does not mean the good old "star gazing" isn't still happening!
Here the latest "HorrorScope" for all of us Libran's:

(September 23-October 22): Playing the victim isn’t cute. Too bad, the only one that sees it as an act is the one that you want to be the most honest with. So, make this week the one in which to reveal your vices and your vulnerabilities. You’ll find that once you let go, the heaviness of it all will fade fast and courage will come on strong. Of course, how your audience will react remains to be seen.

Well, even though the "victim" card is one I have played over the years-I totally don't want to relate to the term now! I believe the one I want to be the most honest with knows that also. As far as the vices and vulnerabilities goes, I'm working on peeling back the layers and showing her glimpses of the real me. So all in all I'm giving this scope a positive grade.

AND for the rest of you non-Librites, go here to theFrisky for your scope! It's a neat girly site so go for the scope and stay for the fun!

**HorrorScope is my own term!

Now What?

Certainly I have been addicted to the adrenalin rush of stress most of my life during work and play. Last week in Columbus I found again I still love the rush!  From the hair styling and ear piercing to the Symposium and night life with Liz...  I was exhausted but damn I loved it!

My problem is slowing down and enjoying the moment.  Wasting the "in between" days bothers me but these days  my body just puts the brakes on naturally.  I have to say curling up with the most boring book in the world has been a welcome change. If you must know the book centered on the European Romanov and Hapsburg dynasties before their fall in the early 1900's.  I told you...BORING!  All right! I have a history degree and always loved studying all the drama the Europeans brought on themselves! (I have always felt Europe's drama was more interesting that our own!)

Well maybe the whole time wasn't reading, yard work and moving stuff from point A to B in my house and the nice part was I was able to add a little girl time. I painted my toe nails plus poured gallons of lotion on my skin in preparation for summer fashion.

Even the web seemed to be in slow motion. Usually I can depend on an influx of the transgender stories to pass along here in Cyrsti's Condo but even they sort of went on hiatus.

The fun part is though is anticipating what is around the next corner.
"What goes around, comes around" is one of my favorite slogans and this is one of the times I can't wait for what comes around.  I'm sure it will though...soon enough!

My Monday "peek" tells me this weekend just could be a blast!