The High Mainetenence Gender

Image from Amin RK on

I don't think I would receive much argument from women or men that women are certainly the high maintenance gender of the two. An example would be what a woman (trans or not) has to go through to appear well dressed in public. Instead of just putting on a nice shirt and pants as her man does, the woman in question has to make sure her legs are shaved all the way up her body to how her hair looks. Plus, I didn't even mention applying tasteful makeup and adding extras such as jewelry as well as other matching accessories. 

In addition to the physical aspect of being feminine, there is the actual bodily changes a woman goes through in her life. The major changes of puberty all the way to menopause isn't very long when you think about it and I am not even mentioning the impact child bearing has on a woman's body. Estrogen doesn't get the press testosterone does as being a powerful hormone but I can tell you from my viewpoint coming from being on both, estrogen does pack a wallop. Just consider the hormone surges a woman goes through at puberty and pregnancy and the reversal when menopause sets it and I wonder why I ever wanted to cross the gender frontier and live full time on hormones as a transgender woman.

As I look back, much of my love for cosmetics and the obsession with the way I presented as a woman was fun to me. Or at the least it was all very satisfying, when it worked. It's easy to forget all of the times it didn't work and I came home crying. Still I wanted desperately to become the high maintenance gender. I wanted to be the well put together woman if I was attempting to blend in as a business professional woman or a boho hippie. I was having fun doing what felt natural to me.

At the same time, I was leaving all the boring male trappings of society behind me. I was bored with all the same old drab colors and fashion which never changed. Being the high maintenance gender was heaven to me. Even as I become older and my introduction to estrogen has been part of me for awhile now I have even changed the way I think about pregnancy. Whereas before I always considered it "woman's work" to carry a child, now I consider it a blessing to be able to bring another new life into the world. 

I guess my life wasn't complex enough as a man, I wanted more. As a member of the high maintenance gender. This morning is an example. Just to go to the pharmacy, I had to make sure I was wearing a light foundation, eye makeup and lipstick. Along with my long hair pulled back. I wonder if my Mom would approve as she was the standard bearer for me as an example of the high maintenance gender.