|Photo Courtesy Connie Malone|
Connie recently wrote in and commented on my post "Comfortable in your Own Skin. As always she put her own unique twist to the post and I thought I would share it with all of you:
" My big regret is that, by the time I found myself to be comfortable in my own gender skin, the skin had already begun to wrinkle and sag. 😒
I think that quite a few trans women go through a period of time dressing in a way that may be appealing to their own masculine desires of the kind of woman they think they want. I know that this idea borders on the myth of autogynephilia, but I still believe it to be true. I know that I made that mistake for a while, however, I never let it out of the closet.
Even when I was a teenager (pre-teen, really), I just wanted to be a woman. As difficult as it may be for a girl to make that transition, it eventually dawned on me that transitioning from a pubescent boy to a woman was most likely impossible (especially back in the 60's). That's why I went into a deep suppression of my feminine self just before I turned 17. That lasted for another 17 years of my life, only to find myself spending another 17 years practicing my femininity through frequent closeted cross dressing. I didn't really need the practice, though, as I pretty much picked up right where I had left off.
Now that I'm 71 (an inverted 17?), I may have wrinkles in my skin, but I've pretty much ironed out the wrinkles of transition."
Thank you for the informative post, As many of you know, I am nearly the same age as Connie (72) and shared the same trials and tribulations of growing up as a teenager in the pre internet "dark ages". Then going through what only could be described as nearly a half century of cross dressing before I finally felt secure enough to fully come out of my closet. Looking back, telling myself I was transgender was much more difficult than telling anyone else. It was easier to just put those non supporters in my rear view mirror than it was to do it to myself, mainly because I had been pushing my authentic feminine self into the background for all of those years. It was so enlightening when I finally discovered I had not been cross dressing all those years as a woman when in reality I had been cross dressing as a man.
For another month or so, if I invert my age, I would be a spry 27. I shouldn't say it but I am...If I only knew then what I know now.