Saturday, March 19, 2022

Boredom?

 Over the years of transitioning across the transgender border, I never considered I would ever arrive at a point where I would be on the verge of boredom. But  my partner Liz and I went out again last night which made it two nights in a row and my idea of boredom began to change. As unamazing as it all was, nothing happened. No stares, no comments...no anything which would allow me to think I was perceived as anything but the woman I always have wanted to become.

Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash
NOT of me.

 Similar to many milestones in my transgender life, I remember vividly thinking in the middle of dinner I better start paying extra attention to Liz because for once I didn't have any other outside influences to distract me.

The only thing which did occur to me was it past time for me to go stealth. By stealth I mean, hiding all vestiges of my previous life as a guy. 

Truly I have considered a stealth life for years. Mainly because I am perceived at home as a woman by Liz and her son anyhow. Plus by my daughter and by many friends, so anyone else doesn't matter to me anyway. Also with the advent of Covid restrictions over the past several years, we decided not to go out and face the risks anyhow. Even though we were fully vaccinated. 

The whole process is most likely a natural one which I have addressed here before. First, you suffer from a severe gender dysphoria when you are not sure which gender you feel natural with. Then you embark down a gender road to decide who you really are. Which can be a difficult process. In fact I met a transgender person the other night who was thinking of reversing the process she had already gone through. The problem  I see with any gender de- transition is many times it is done because of another person or persons usually from a family. The transgender person is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Especially if they are younger and are faced with building a life as their authentic self. 

Fortunately, at my age, it's not a problem I face.  I have gone through the questioning phase of my gender dysphoria and finally decided I have become more than a gender. I am now just another person trying my best to look nice. No different than any other woman. 

The boredom I experienced last night is no more than another phase.

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