Looking back at the television show on TLC, "Lost in Transition," I think enough time has passed not to have to issue a "spoiler alert."
I think the producers did a fairly decent job of tying up many of the loose ends which occur when long term couples split up from transgender issues...or don't. Two couples on the show were very much on the relationship ropes and two weren't.
What was nice was all of the trans women managed make-overs somehow and appeared presentable. Especially the one from rural Washington State who was going to attempt to move her family to Wisconsin to look for a suitable job.
Of particular interest to me through out the entire series was the couple from California. Not only did the wife have many of the similar ideas of going into a transgender relationship that my deceased wife had, they even shared the same name. The back and forth between the couple continued full force until the end. I think once both of them saw the trans woman after a quality makeover, they knew they could never go back.
It was like another of the transgender women said, "I finally saw my true self in the mirror."
Then, there was the "go to hell" breakup with the couple from Ohio. Which could have been the most truthful of the four.
All in all, I think the producers of the show tried and succeeded in covering quite a bit of complicated ground in a short period of time.
Maybe the show will be "extended" into next season.
I did a mini-binge watch of episodes 7, 8, and 9 a couple of days ago when it was 93 degrees outside and I didn't feel like moving around anyway. I cried a few times, but not for the couples who were breaking up over their respective transitions. Rather, I cried for the acceptance of family and friends for the others; happy tears!ReplyDelete
I decided to watch the series based on your blog post, but I was still a little tentative about it. So much of these shows seem so decisive in their edited presentations, and I get so tired of the "reveals" and comparisons of the subjects' presentations between male and female. There was definitely some of that here, but I put up with it in order to see how the wives handled their husbands' transitions. After all, my wife and I just celebrated our 46th anniversary last month, and I'm still in awe of my wife for sticking with me through all of this - even if our relationship has changed significantly as a result of it. I can't say that my transition and relationship fit into any of the experiences these couples demonstrated, but my wife would probably relate to every concern these wives had. I say "would probably" because she has no interest in seeing this show.
The one thing that I liked was that the producers brought out the fact that a transgender person's transition is not hers/his alone, but requires transitioning by everyone else concerned. I have been very mindful of that reality throughout my own transition, and that may be the reason I'm still married. Still, as I have said since day one of our marriage (throughout the many years of my repression and beyond) that my wife deserves most all of the credit for its success. Musicians don't always make the best partners, anyway, but throw in the gender identity thing and........
I found it hard to understand how these trans women could be all-in on the hormones and surgeries before even taking the rudimentary step toward social transition. Whatever happened to the rule of living authentically for a year beforehand? I think it's a wise thing to do, even if it's not a requirement. If you are not able to accept your feminine-self, or can't cope with presenting yourself to the world without a professional makeover, then your chances of being happy with yourself are greatly reduced.
Of course, I think I've been successful with my transition because I've done it the right way! Then, I think again and realize that no two transitions are the same - nor are any two trans women. You won't see my wife and I on this show, if it is extended, however.