Much of what we talk about has to do with her "dating life" or, the attempts to establish one.
From her, I understand now there is a trans LGBT dating appt and, why wouldn't there be. I know back when I was seriously seeking dates from mainly men, there wasn't such a thing. If there was or wasn't, according to my friend, her initial results are largely the same as mine.
For example, one guy wanted her to dress up like a ten year old girl and another just wanted to wear her panties.
Of course I told her to be very careful and she said she always insists the guy wears a rubber. I said well, that is all well and good but make sure you don't get get caught off guard and basically raped or molested. Don't assume all of your old male privilege against it still exists.
Then, I related the story about the night I was cornered at a party by a man much larger than I, so quickly, it made my head spin. If it wasn't for a cis woman bailing me out, chances of my mini skirted rear making it out of the situation may have been dim. I am enclosing a picture of a close proximity to what I was wearing.
From that point on, it has been lesson learned. I have discovered I must be aware of what it going on behind my back...with men and women. I discovered early on too, a woman can smile to your face, while at the same time, stab you in the back.
I also told my friend to look at the dating process this way, she is just going through the same process every cis woman does!
3 comments:
Sound advise, I suspect that most of us have found ourselves in "unfortunate" situations my few attempts at dating led me to the conclusion that I was fishing in a very limited gene pool; and that all the men (with one exception, but he turned out not to be available) I met were creeps only after one thing. Strangely the longer I am on HRT the less that matters,~~~ but I would like some male companionship
I think that the dating process may be the same in one way, although it is made different by the type of "suitors" a trans girl may be more apt to attract. We can go around declaring that gender is between the ears and sex is between the legs all day, but the truth is that, for men especially, there is an awful lot of sex going on between the ears, too. As trans women, we are seen to be attractive by others whose minds may be swirling with ideas of sex much different than our own.
I may be old-fashioned, and even a bit of a prude, but I am not naive. I'll admit to allowing a man to go too far with his advances toward me - to the point, I imagine, he thought he had been given permission by me to use me any way he wished. I was a young 50-something trans woman at the time; not really young, but new at being an out trans woman. I was flattered by the attention, but I had no interest in a sexual encounter with this man, or any man. The privilege any woman should have is to have NO taken for an answer, but this can definitely not be an assumption. Whatever her reason for wanting to end the pursuit of her, a woman should be prepared to make her NO be clear and final. Before doing so may require physical means or the defensive tactics of pepper spray, though, a woman needs to learn to read the signs beforehand. A trans woman also needs to learn a few other signs than does a cis woman, I believe.
I do too. I beleive a cis man thinks a trans woman is "desperate" at the least, or shares many of the same sexual ideas he has, becuase we used to be men. As we are finding out...NO...seems to be difficult for many men to understand.
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